Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Experiment Ends

Ok - so Normal service resumes: For anyone who's dropped in over the last week and a half and wondered why there was only one update, and the comments were even more irrelevant than usual - it's because I was performing a test, an experiment - to see what would happen, if I took the blog down every day... Where there riots in the streets? People staying up all night watching their computers? my veiwership increased by the thousand as people wondered - what am I gonna miss if I don't keep checking it? Not really. So I've decided to go back to the old ways - the heart on sleeve, you can come in any time and see everything that's been going on in my little head whenever you want, kind of format... Here's a game for you first - try and match the comments to the posts - the dates will help I guess.

I'm afraid I'm too lazymistic to put back up the photos that came with these, they won't copy and paste over too easily - and it already took long enough to put all the post titles in bold - ouch my head hurts - - -

Too Busy and Important to Blog – 4th Mar 09

I wanted to get a stand in amateur part time blogger to do the hard work for me tonight, but he's gone off to bed with a good book - deserting me here with the key bored. Maybe another time.

In the meantime enjoy my cheerful poem that I wrote during lunchtime on Monday (unless you're in my Group - in which case close your eyes till saturday) - it's called

5th Mar 09

What if I just keep editing the same old blog post over and over again - ie without leaving the old posts in place? Then is my blog more like a web page? Does it put more pressure on my readers to keep up and read every single day in case they miss something new? Will it make comments look silly because they'll all be old and irrelevant? Does it make me more cool and elusive because you will no longer have a historical record of my thoughts and actions? Or does it make me look lame and lazymistic for not having updated the blog since yesterday - when really I did update it today - really I did.
Well just to prove it, how else would I know that today's big news is that there's a big 2 litre bottle of bulmers on the patch of grass in front of my house. And last night I heard some shouting out the front of my house. And I don't drink Bulmers anymore, but it's still annoying me a little - the thoughts of it out there, all alone, not being drunk... Should I take it in? That is the question.

Transience - and the forgotten cider 6th Mar

So here I am - editing 4th of March again - today's really the 6th, but yes it's an experiment, and yes I'm just trying to confuse you....

The benefits of wiping the blog clean every day are actually quite extensive now that I think of it. Like a blackboard or one of those yokeys that break after your tenth drawing - what the hell were they called? Anyways - this won't break after the tenth replacement, but you know what I mean.

The benefits are as follows:

A: It's eco friendly - saving space on the World Wide Web - leaving my conscience clean and stopping those sleepless nights where I lie awake wondering - am I using up too much cyber space? am I cyber obese? Now I can keep myself cyber lite, cyber trim if you will.

B: It means I can put any old crap up here, and you mightn't get to see it, so I get away with second rate posts, but the mystery of me wiping it away every day will make you worry you've missed something good - like the forgotten cider - which might've been the best thing ever, but only the super current followers will know that.

3: The Comments will be out of date - and confuse and excite you all at once - predictably I'm going to come up with a new double barrel word for that state I've put you in - concitement or excusion - but it won't matter, cos it'll be gone tomorrow or the next day

D: I'm a bit uneasy with the way blogs show exactly when you've posted em anyway - so this way you won't know really when, because all posts will be from 4th March, so you won't know for example if I update every single day, or if I leave it a week or two, (unless you're checking every day - which is to be recommended if you don't want to miss something brilliant - like the cider, or the poem that made me cringe so much I wanted to take it back down thus giving rise to this whole crazy idear)

E: I needn't worry so much about having absolutely brilliant photos all the time, since they'll only be up for a short while anyway - dunmatta!

There's more benefits but they will be saved for another time. Feel free to add some to the comment box - to concite future readers even more. Bwa hahahahahh; MAD I am

7th Mar

This blog lives forever in the 4th March.... It won't get with it, catch up and live in the now. Won't follow the weight watcher's ad's advice and embrace the present.

I am blogging more than ever but my updates only show on the one page, yesterday's is wiped, so if you miss it, you missed it. It's not that I'm experiencing technical difficulties, it's more going on the thought process that what's rare is more valuable. Plus I look like my life is full and exciting and wonderful - since I only got round to blogging twice in March - apparently.

Or - I'm rewarding repeat purchase, turn on, tune in, and then don't drop out... This is to be the watercooler blog - go to work monday, stand around the watercooler and say, oh I saw it saturday, oh no I missed it, what happened? OMG - it was so cool... etc etc. That's if you have a watercooler - or if you have work, or indeed legs to stand around on, or come to think of it a computer and the leisure time to look at blogs.

8th Mar
Edit DNA, Emit

If you could edit your DNA as easily as I can edit this day - 4th Mar - the infamous ground hog day of the blog world - what would you change?
Would you, like me, choose to finally emit the lifelong tendancy to be irrationally early for everything? Or would it be the usual boring kind of thing - I'd swap my DNA for a bit of Angelina's or Brad's?
Ok ok, I don't actually have a point here, but since it's only up temporarily, and I think very very few of you look at the web on the weekly day of rest, or even early of a monday, and if you do you'll be sad enough to laugh at this - I just realised "Edit DNA, Emit" is "timE, AND tidE" backwards, and time and tide apparently wait for no man, and nor does this blog - it'll be wiped clean again tomorrow.
If I ever have daughters I might call them time and tide. Wouldn't that be clever? Yep - until someone starts mocking one of them for being called after a washing up powder.... perhaps

Cushions meets pillows – 9 Mar

Went to see "the pillow man" last night - not the 3rd Mar - but those of you who are following every day will know why that is...

It was a KATS production, the very successful Galwegian amateur drama group, and only a group of their calibre would dream (Dream - geddit - pillows? dreaming? - ah forgeddit) of taking on such a difficult piece of work. It's been my first encounter with a Martin McDonagh play, and it was pretty amazing stuff. Dark, shocking, funny and thought provoking.
By the way - how much is it irritating ye all? This deleted history business - the fact that my old posts are now vanishing in the ether instead of hanging around politely awaiting your attention? Is it causing you to lose sleep? Do you wake up screaming? Would it be very sad if I got up in the middle of the night to post twice - so that no one would ever see at least one of my posts? Why would I want to do that? I don't know - but will you be staying up all night watching tonight just in case?

Thought I'd find you.... 10 Mar

Would you believe that after 21 mind numbing - sunsoaked years - "Home and Away" writers are still contract bound to include the line "Thought I'd find you here" in every single episode. I was watching this afternoon when the immortal words were uttered by the young one, who found the young fella in a boat - the young fella she was trying to save from his drug dealing girlfriend, who promptly arrived on the scene. The girlfriend couldn't say "Thought I'd find you here" because it had already been used. God it brought me back tho' - to the college days, watching home and away twice a day - 1.30 and 6.30 pm - once I thought they used "Thought I'd find you here" twice in one of the episodes, in a slip by some writer who'd have to be fired on the spot; but realised I'd simply fallen asleep between episodes, so thought it was still the same one, when in fact it was the later one. No - that's all lies actually - I never slept from one episode to the other. Never I tell you - NEVER!!!!
- yes this deleting daily thing is curiously liberating - as predicted it means I can put any old rubbish up... I'd highly recommend it.

Beware the "I'd"s of March

March 11th - think that's the "I'd"s.

I'd have a washboard stomach, if I'd been going to the aqua fit lately
I'd be confusing a lot of people instead of just a few, if I'd more readers right now.
I'd have room in my stomach if I hadn't been eating curries all day, and wouldn't therefore annoy my Aunty who's cooking a delectable dinner as we speak.
I'd like to have seen the film "I'm not there".. but I haven't.
I'd be totally with it - if I only knew what "it" was.
Dangerous things the "I'd"s

No Lion on the horizon – Mar 12

There's a view from the roundabout hill, the roundabout that leads to the earth blocked bridge over the M50. From the hill you see a clean long line, diagonal greay that stretches across cutting land from fuggy sky - the prison. Then a few trees in between and another slope catches your eye - a newer grey with a thick slash of cheerful redbrick red beneath, dotted with little squares of cardboard, for sale signs, apartments. Another prison.

In one they are stuck to a rigid, mind numbing routine, day after grinding day, trying to make the most of their time in this miseraburbia. In the other they look forward to release.

4 Things I've learned in the last 24 hours - 13 Mar

1. Shouting "CONCENTRATE" at the top of your voice in a room full of shouting, messing, fun having teenagers - does not in fact make them concentrate.

2. Arriving 1 hour early at the dentist doesn't make him see you any earlier, in fact he will probably make you wait till half an hour after your appointment was supposed to happen, just to show you he won't be pressured.

3. Giving a pigeon a dirty look over your shoulder, will often result in said pigeon giving you a look back.

4. As you get closer to the river, the spikes on top of the fences are more likely to have emptied cans of cheaper and cheaper beer impaled on them as opposed to the coffee cups and little lattee buckets to be found further inland.


Anonymous said...

Definitely take it in - if it's full. It would be a kindly act in these days of depression. You don't want the poor thing to feel unwanted. If you are wary about the actual contents, well then you don't have to imbibe it personally - you could keep it for some time (!) you have friends visiting. I'm sure they would love it. And I won't tell them where you got it, honest. (Sorry, I only drink gin)

Niamh B said...

Thanks DQ - it's been brought in..... they'll never know.

Anonymous said...

The Bloggers Tribunal will have some job following a cyber-trail when they investigate your sanity. You could do twenty 'draghts' of course, and merely replace them daily but it wouldn't be so much fun, would it? And the time in the car-park on the way to work would have to find another means of time-passing. I can recommend planning - you know listing all the really important things you have to do. That works wonders, because you don't have to actually do anything, your conscience is clear because you have already put the effort in. DQ

Anonymous said...

I have a new challenge in my life - trying to comment on what will occupy this space tomorrow and will be relevant to both. Where can I begin...Oh yes,
The things that pop into your creative mind never fail to amaze me!
Dear God, I'm so sad, reading this on Sunday....

Niamh B said...

An admirable ambition Anonymous... and no you're not sad,

Domestic Oub said...

sorry to be so prosaic, but, tech support?

Niamh B said...

No need to apologise DO --- Tech Support would be needed indeed if there was a problem with the Techie side of things, but the problem is entirely of my own creation... and exists only in my head - I can catch up to the present any time I like - just choosing not to, for the minute, to see what happens...

Anonymous said...

Hah! No new blog - Wots Up? DQ

Niamh B said...

A cruel task master you are

Anonymous said...

Probably be up all night, eyes glued to screen....

Don't think the idea is working - not fair to see such delicacies disappear after one read.

You could end up with only one fan - me. Now that would be sad.

Niamh B said...

So did you blink and miss it?? Don't worry, my ego won't let them really dissappear - will most likely put em all up when I'm bored with this...

Domestic Oub said...

No offense Various, but for some reason am disliking this transitory blink and miss itness. No likey!!

Niamh B said...

None taken - will fix it - maybe tomorrow - don't have time right now....

Anonymous said...

They used to say the same about sububia. Now an estate house seems like a small piece of rural Ireland compared to aparturbia. in 2059 will people live in high-rise bubbles 12 x 12 one room prisons, or tenturbia on the fringe of public parks - and think they are lucky to have a 'home'?

Domestic Oub said...

And don't forget the broken dreams of Negativequiturbia

Anonymous said...

And the anticipaturbia one gets at the thought of a pizza baked by Mr you-know-who - but not at the thought of 'Amsterdam'?

Domestic Oub said...

now you've lost me...

Niamh B said...

It's Mrs You know Who, not Mr. Credit where it's due!
If you don't want to do the Hamster Damn thing I wouldn't worry about it - get a bluffer's guide online maybe, it's not like a test,
Now that I've completely alienated any one (outside of a couple of the usual lunatics) who might by some miracle have begun to read this blog I think it's time the madness ended.

Domestic Oub said...

OH THANK GOD! no more trying to be all original and different. hang with the plebs. be ordinary like the rest of us. Its not that bad down here...

Niamh B said...

Twas all just an elaborate plan to have loads of comments on one post...
- maybe I should just try writing something brilliant, original or controversial next time...
Nah too much like hard work.