Sunday, February 27, 2011

TFE's Poetry Bus!!!

This week TFE is back at the infamous wheel, and I've taken a prompt of one of the photos he has put up there. He put in the rule too that we had to trim down to 14 lines, but I'm afraid what I wrote was far too genius to cull at all, so here it is in its entirety...
I'll understand if I don't get included on the roll call because of this boldness and disobedience. Find other - much better - poems that might more accurately respond to the prompt here

Laa Laa Land

In Laa Laa Land, we have cocktails on demand

And the flames of lust are fanned

By a master on the grand, who sings songs of sorrows banned

With a walk along the strand

Eyes unhurt by grit or sand, we are gorgeous, in command

Of spontaneous joy and planned.

There’s a bird in every hand, and the bush birds all are grand

So we leave them – they wear brands

That are never seen as bland, they so please the fashion gland

For fine feathers can be scanned

From a turret that is manned by us. Don’t misunderstand

At the end of Laa Laa Land

There’s a wake up call, a scandal of unsteady quiver hands

Where the yobs are often vanned

So they’ll never more get tanned, listen to a rocking band

And the only fruit is canned, no more to take the upper hand

Far from dreamt of Laa Laa Land....


Louise said...

Great one, and applause for breaking the rules, I need some of your rebellious nature to rub off on me! I picked the same image, blast you oh great one! I blame John Mcgahern influence for mine!

Padhraig Nolan said...


Totalfeckineejit said...

It certainly shouldn't be panned
because it doesn't fit as planned

Ha! The PB rule is there are no rules!This is crackers, but it also hits nails,I love it!

Peter Goulding said...

Oh, you big rebel, you!
Great fun, and every line spanned.

Helen said...

BRAVO!! I want to visit Laa Laa Land...please?

Dominic Rivron said...

I had just prepared an "it shouldn't be panned" couplet to discover that TFE has beaten me to it. Rats!

Emerging Writer said...

A poem of planned joy. Loved it. I too want to visit Laa Laa Land
(Possibly I have in my poem for the bus)

swiss said...

rhyne-tastic! loved it!

Niamh B said...

Tks Socks, ah I think you've got enough rebelliousness, living in rebel cottage and all!!
Tks Padhraig
Ham Hammering away TFE, thanks!
Thank you Peter!
Tks Helen, if you want to visit... you're already there!
Oh Dominic, he's a fierce crusher of dreams. Rats indeed!
Tks EW, must go and visit you there.
Tk you Swiss, glad ya enjoyed.

The Bug said...

This is my favorite part because I wish it were true for me! "Eyes unhurt by grit or sand, we are gorgeous, in command Of spontaneous joy and planned..."

Niamh B said...

Tks Bug, stole "we are gorgeous" from a song, but can't figure out what song it's from now!

Titus said...


Niamh B said...


Kat Mortensen said...

This is FAB, Niamh! Loving the perpetual rhymes and that "only fruit is canned" is classic.

A really memorable one - outSTANDing!