Does this wreck your head?

A picture of a blog within a blog within a blog? No? Perhaps because it's all blurry? so you can't really see it?

Y'know what - now that I'm here, I'll tell you some kind of painful news. My blog - I mean this one - the one you're reading now - didn't make the grade... Hasn't got through to the next round of judging for the Irish Blog Awards. And before you go looking, I've checked through all the categories, it's not that they've moved me to a more prestigious category or anything. They've just decided that there's better blogs out there (pah!)
I'm ok about it. Really. Again my unfathomable depths of bravery come in handy here as I fight the urge to throw the laptop to the dog to chew on...
I want to thank whoever nominated me again - for getting my hopes up only to have them dashed on the rocks of reality... What'll it take eh? Bloody labels to make the blog searchable I suppose, fancy graphics, more followers, maybe even higher quality content instead of the random waffle that I usually come up with for your delectation? I don't know - people with standards eh...

Best of luck to those wonderful blogs linked in my right hand column that DID get through to the next round - ie - Women Rule Writer, Uiscebot and TotalFeckinEejit - pure quality blogs, I'll have my fingers and toes cross for ye all...

Update on exciting goings on

So - yesterday I didn't tell you, but I actually had a big mad flu. I know, I'm so brave really (I even went home from work early, which is probably why I didn't tell you, because I felt guilty for going home, because I never really miss work for being sick - luckily for me). I still have a leetle bit of a sore throat, but am feeling strong enough to let you know the following important update(s).

The dog doesn't care about soccer - here is video evidence - showing her sleeping through tonights Manchester Utd match. Although she does love playing it herself and is nifty with her Winnie the Pooh ball, she can't be bothered when someone else is playing. I can't blame her - I find soccer a great aid to getting to sleep.



The second exciting update is that there is no second update - that's why the "s" is in brackets above.
(The lesson learned here is never EVER trust anything in brackets)

Geographical Meme

Herself is trying to dig to China

Which made me think of this geographical meme...

The first instruction is -

you must begin your post with a geographical joke:

Dublin is the biggest city in the world - it keeps dubbelin and dubbelin... (badoom shhhhh)

Then credit the geographical joke to the source - (my friend Seán in this instance)

Then in as few words as possible - explain your earliest recollection/ awareness of the following;

Europe - being born there, probably first aware of it when the EEC became the EC or the EU.

America - suitcases full of shiny things & sweets being brought back

Africa - the song "Walk like an Egyptian"

Australia - Skippy - the bush kangaroo

Asia - School geography

Then say what is your furthest point travelled -

North - top of jutland, Denmark

South - Beunos Aires for work

East - Athens - there for the Eurovision

West - driving past Toronto

Longest time living in one place and where it was? 17 years in Midleton, Co Cork

Shortest time living in one place and where it was? 1 month in Maryland

Brief list of places lived in, in rough order of appearance:

Midleton, Cork City, Maryland, Boston, Heidelberg, Wicklow, Arklow, Gorey, Dublin.

How many addresses have you had? 17

Check out Dominic's response here

Here's Rachel Fox's version
And look here for Elisabeth's take!

Women's day - Genji's Tale

Today is International women's day - which again reminds me of Women's christmas - why do we need a women's day? do the rest of the days belong to men?

Anyways - just thought it'd be a nice day to let ye know we started it.

Yes. Women were first at writing classical literature - the Tale of Genji was the first ever psychological novel, and it was written by a woman, and I have to say - while I haven't read it, I think it sounds like a pretty great piece of work. This woman Murasaki - wrote the book sometime in the 11th Century. The plot summary on Wikipedia goes like this -
(summarised further by myself - also a woman - for your convenience)

Genji is a kid who loves his stepmother, then falls in love with her later, when he gets a bit older. She quite likes him too, but they're not allowed get together.
He marries someone he doesn't like much then goes around trying to meet someone else - but everyone he meets either dies suddenly, doesn't like him, or turns out to be boring. He meets the neice of his stepmam and fancies her, so kidnaps her at the age of ten. In the meantime he also has an affair with the stepmam and this leads to them having a son (no one but the two of them know who the dad is).
He makes friends with his wife again and she has another son, and then she dies, so then he marries the neice of his stepmam. Genjis dad dies, so his older half-brother's in power, Genji - the rogue - has also been with this half-brother's concubine - so he gets exiled away out the country where he makes friends with a rich man and gets this rich man's daughter pregnant. Meanwhile Genji is forgiven, and brought back and his son becomes emperor.
Then Genji turns 40.... 40!!! He marries another woman, and the neice of the stepmam wants to join the nuns, then she dies. Then Genji thinks about how short life is, then he dies. (well we think he dies - the author leaves a chapter blank to imply this) Then there's a bit of a bit about Genji's grandson and a guy that everyone thinks is his son - but is actually his nephew's son.

Fair City would have nothing on this would it? a rip-roaring tale if ever I heard one. I'm impressed with the innovation here - with the blank chapter, also the whole extra long - few chapters at the end after the real ending - which sounds like a "Lord of the Rings" precursor... But also - most impressively - it was considered rude to name people back then in Japan, so the author told this story alot of the time without their names and just using their clothes or position in society instead... The book also ends half way through a sentance - which is fairly cool in my .....................

Women are so cool. We rule.

Dog Tanka

And a pic of the dog - this is her blog after all

And another bonus tanka as a tankya to those who made it past the dog picture

First Memory of a Train

Magic fast we raced

a lady older than time

gave the kindest smile

and as well as that, marbles

Net bag of glimmering jewels

Talk about Fun

The most fun you can legally have with a used bicycle tyre

Michael Flynn on the Radio

Michael goes by Mike or Micheal depending on his mood at the time, he studied English and Sociology in UCC, finishing in 1999, he's been based in Dublin for the past 8 years and started writing 18 years ago, getting involved in writing groups and courses in Waterford and Cork. He has in the meantime worked in everything from Ryanair, to farming, to construction, and has not published any of his written work to date.

His chosen theme is Poetry as Prayer.


Incidentally - Michael is one of the most genuinest people you'll ever meet, and will not give out to drunken young students, even if he has had to carry them home from the pub because they were falling asleep at the table, rescue them from their kitchen roof, put them to bed and put up with them laughing uproariously as they follow him drunkenly back to the pub... no poitín will be harmed in the making of this radio show - but that's besides the point - his poems are lovely too...

See ye then - 4pm - on Sunday - on Liffey Sound

an extra long haiku

This poem comes with thanks for the form from Matt Bolton's blog

57577 - looks like a directory enquiries number - but no, it's a poetic form, (no. of syllables per line), and since it's a long time since I've tried a constraint on me poems, I have to admit, I quite enjoyed the exercise. It's nice having a scaffold before you start - knowing what shape it's going to take. Anyway - go over to Matt's blog if you want to know more about the form - I suppose it's really just a long Haiku.... Here it is:

Killing a Beetle

Gingerly she toys
tortures many legged freak
nudges it with care
pounces when it tries to move
Nothing safe from black death paws

Sales blog

I'm not a great sales person, in reality - I'm kind of uncomfortable with taking money in exchange for goods and services (don't tell my boss). It dates back to one time when I got really competitive with the Barry's shop from across the road in my estate. It wasn't fair, all the houses were playing shop and they had a million comic books... and it just looked so much better than my pretend shop with nothing except a few mud pies and sea shells in it.

What did I do? What would you do? I went and got some "real" things to sell, creative sourcing I called it at the time, from inside my parents' "real" house... (theft they called it at the time) with an ensuing painful hunt to find and return everything to their rightful places after the sale of the century. I was only 6 or 7.

Anyway it is with some considerable discomfort that I must tell you that there is a poetry pamphlet now available - for sale - for the first time with more than one of my poems inside... and you can buy it... if you press this paypal button...

5 Euro including P&P

I'm not exactly sure how it works, but anyway - there ya go... - it's a home for a lonely fiver if you have such a thing.

Other homes for your fiver include

1. the Axis theatre in Ballymun - where you can catch Dermot Bolger tomorrow night talking to two writers about parental influence in their writing life - more details over on emerging writer....
2. almost half a ticket for the nighthawks - who got a great and very well deserved write up here. Since they managed to get me to perform there they've just been going from strength to strength - bless em.
3. entry to the next Lit Jam at CFCP - where you'll get to sit on bean bags all night, supping your own home made beer, if you remember to bring such a thing with you - otherwise drink the herbal tea, listen to some poetry, music, do a writing exercise with the group.
4. enter the raffle at Stephen James Smith's lovely Glór sessions every monday night.
5. enter the raffle at the fantastic monthly brown bread mixtape in the Stag's head
6. find another euro and you could go to Literary death match in the Sugar Club this Friday night - only if you book online.
7. get 500 penny sweets!!!! eat one per day for the next year and a bit... only will work with hard boiled types - apple drops perraps...
8. buy a toy for a dog that will have the toy half eaten - half artistically scattered around your house within half an hour, all with her creepy shiny x-ray type gazing eyes never leaving your own.
9. give it to charity

Foneticky tings

I happened upon the following site, spied from over Mr VC's shoulder

http://www.exploratorium.edu/exhibits/ladle/

At first I thought he was perhaps researching new and improved ways to stop the mongrel from snarling and barking at the plastic ceiling that we have at the back of the house in which she's just found her reflection of late, but no... it's actually a phoneticky website with kids stories written out phonetically beginning with Ladle Rat Rotten Hut (ie little red riding hood) - it's a bit of a puzzle, but in a nice way.

Enjoy.