Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Tapeworm to Yamamori

With apologies to Noodle lovers everywhere....

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Tapeworm to Yamamori *
Don't bring your tapeworm to Yamamori
He'd end up feeling grey and hoary
The staff would shout "HEY! what's the story?"
Twould be just like dynamite
For Tapeworms don't like Japaneses
Preferring to ask politicians for cheeses
Or watch Ben Hur, the Passion, anything about Jesus
They'd watch those old films all night
But tapeworms don't have table manners
they're much maligned by wedding planners
and their scolex look like a bag full of spanners
no, keep home this bold parasite
He wouldn't be able to get chopsticks to work
And if he fell in with the noodles, he'd surely lurk
And no one could save him from a chef gone berserk
No Yamamori for your Tapeworm today

*Yamamori Noodles are a very popular and lovely chain of Japanese style restaurants around Dubland, for the international amongst you readers.


Peter Goulding said...

Japaneses, cheeses, Jesus - oh yes, yes, yes!
I'm sure someone somewhere has a tapeworm as a pet.

Titus said...

Was a little worried that reading this one would discomfort me too much, but you pulled it off!
The old films verse superb, and the only poem IN THE WORLD that has used the word scolex.

Thus genius, QED.

Niamh B said...

Peter, lets hope they're reading this if so.
Titus - it was a delicate balance which I think just about succeeded in the end.

Kat Mortensen said...

I did a double-take Niamh because with my bad eyesight, I thought the word was Tampon! I have to say, Tapeworm really got me squirming.
That last verse is making me reconsider the linguine I had planned on for dinner.


Domestic Oub said...

Best Pome Ever.

Dynamite rhymned with parasite. Class.

Japaneses/Cheeses/Jesus. I only want to read poems that include these words.

Now,have actually craving for some noodles... only slightly sick thinking of them and tapeworms...

Louise said...

Pretty good mrs, you are getting better and better!!!

Emerging Writer said...

I may never eat noodles again.
But you are the Queen of Rhymes

Niamh B said...

Kat, sorry if I ruined your dinner plans - there'd be extra protein, if that's any comfort!
Thanks Oub! Hope you found some noodles to satisfy the craving
(nearly wrote crazing there - probably almost as accurate)
Thanks Socks, glad you liked!
Thanks EW, do I get a tiara for that?!

Unknown said...

lovely poem,
best wishes.