Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hairy fly to the launderette

It's still not in a shop, but it is a poem at least. Hope all hairy fly owners are listening up!

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hairy fly to the launderette

Don't bring your hairy fly to the launderette
Twould be worse than the time that he came to the vet
Oh he doesn't like soap sudz, can't stand getting wet
Trust me, leave home this diptera terrible

He'd regress to a larva, would cause quite a mess
Would pick threads off the linens and wouldn't confess
Would cause all sorts of mayhem, both some you could guess
and some that would be un-infer-able

And if they start ironing he'd lose his antennae
Oh, his problems would be too vast, and so many
He'd have to walk on the ground not float like Pat Kenny
for his wings would get pressed, how unbearable!

Tell your fly, better stay home washing his hairs
in the normal fly way, with his legs, and who cares
he can sit instead on a tray of eclairs
No Launderette for your hairy fly today


NanU said...

hey! get off my eclair!
un-infer-able indeed.

Titus said...

Yes to the whole thing! but the second verse is probably the peach for me. Tempted by the eclair though, but not now he's sat on it.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Little puke monsters! SQUISH!
Go to laugh about the eclairs though! Neato!
By coincidence got my copy of The Stinging Fly today, looking good!
Will read your story layter, I've already scanned and noticed a few sweary words!!

Niamh B said...

NanU - hope I haven't ruined eclairs for you forever
Thanks Titus, was particularly proud of verse 2 too!
TFE - all sweary words are artistically necessary and completely justifiable and even my parents said the really bold bit was alright, in the name of culture...

Words A Day said...

un-infer-able..! Makes me soo curious!
And washing his hairs in a tray of eclairs - what a lushy hairy fly!
Good poem for dieters!

Niamh B said...

Definitely not one I'll be thanked for by the Eclair sellers guild!
Thanks Words