Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Tree Frog to Bed, Bath and Beyond

This one was in part inspired by Picasso over at Elizabeth's blog - see that post here.

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Tree Frog to Bed, Bath and Beyond

Don't bring your Tree Frog to Bed, Bath and Beyond
Though he might say of that shop, he's rather fond
Don't believe him, no please do not be conned
His real motive is far more sinister

Tree Frogs dream from when they're little tadpoles
Of fulfilling a seriously villainous role
They're not to be trusted, oh, won't you be told!
He'll lie even more than a minister

"I just want some bath pearls" he'll tell you, straight-faced
Then he'll hop to the showers, hot water to waste
Sucky pads help him climb up, the whole place he'll have cased
And get you into trouble with him mister

No, sadly you can't trust this little amphibian
Tho his eyes look all genuine, voice purer than Rhydian
If he begs "Will you bring me" tell him "You must be kiddyin"
No Bed, Bath and Beyond for your Tree Frog today!

Don't forget today is officially the first day of IPYPIASM - see yesterday's post if you missed it. I will update as the poems get placed!!!


Totalfeckineejit said...

More lies than a minister!!?? By feck that's some hardcore lyin frog!

Rhyme of the week = Rhydian/kiddyin

The whole sheboodle up to the excellent standard we've come to expect of this unique series!

No poems in shops yet, but the month is yet young.

Peter Goulding said...

Yes, yes, so true. Charles Mitchell, the veteran broadcaster, allegedly got into a lot of bother bringing his tree frog to bathroom emporiums (emporia?) and Fidel Castro also had the same problem in the late sixties.

Cad said...

I think I can promise NO tree frog will darken my duvet - ever!

Kat Mortensen said...

I like the "sucky pads" and the bath pearls.

Oh, and the kiddyin'

Great fun, as usual!


Niamh B said...

Thank you TFE, the month is but a pup

Yes Peter, you're quite the scholar on this topic.

Cad, that's a big promise. Hope you can live up to it.

Thanks a mill Kat!

120 Socks said...

I'd be very tempted to give in to the Tree Frog, he sounds like a great character altogether!

Niamh B said...

tis probably the rydian voice that does it!
glad to see you're still connected to civilisation from up the mountain!

The Dead Acorn said...

Bed and Bath? Well, perhaps - but never Beyond
Their unspeakable evil should be left to the pond
We should all be on guard, as you have forbode
They can seem almost human … or so I am toad.

I agree that Rhydian/kiddyin is sublime. And as always, I learned something new.

Niamh B said...

so I am toad... that is just magic Acorn!
Thanks as always, and yes, hope you like Rydian, hope he thanks me some day for introducing him to my American fans.

Titus said...

Ah, heaven.
And we have a collection of tree frogs! Who knew.

Killer phrase: voice purer than Rhydian. As everyone else has noticed before me...