Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
If I were to send the very self same short story year after year into the Listowel writer's week competition, with only very minor tweaks, perhaps a freshened up line spacing or different font now and then.... How many years would it take to actually win?
How long before the judges get so sick of it that they know the story off by heart?
Or could it work by stealth - whereby they don't even know they know it, but the words trip off the tongue, they somehow find it familiar and comforting?
(for the master of stealth - youtube stealth cat - it's the best cat video on the whole world wide web by the way)
Or could it work by sheer steadfastness? Could I pass it down to my kids and their kids kids, until finally the story itself is a legend, and one day it gets its reward?
Or am I thinking a loada crap?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Click here to read more about stuttering and how it can be controlled."
From the online font of information that is thesaurus.com - I didn't even know Eire was a Commonwealth country... Hmmm (that's why wealth is so common here? Peraps?)
And that, along with the previous post is why I shouldn't try to blog when tired, or operate heavy machinery.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
"I wish my wife was this dirty" - written on the back of a very dirty transit van in the muck.
"In the social psychology of groups, social loafing is the phenomenon of people making less effort to achieve a goal when they work in a group than when they work alone. This is seen as one of the main reasons groups are sometimes less productive than the combined performance of their members working as individuals." - a definition of social loafing from wikipedia - I love it.
"I'll be mostly babysitting over the weekend" - says a guy at work - referring to the fact that he will be minding his OWN children for the weekend, ie he will be part of his own family - he made it sound like such a chore.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
You say: How does an Elephant ask for a banana?
They say: I don't know
(Hold your arm up so that it appears to be growing from the area of your nose, like an elephant's trunk. Put on an Elephant accent - then..)
You say: Can I have a banana?
They groan, and throw the nearest solid item at you - it's not even a had to be there kinda thing - it's worse when you are there.
All credit to my work colleague who will never see this and never know his joke is famous.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Every old man I see
Reminds me I could have him
When I could have most anyone
My little heart desired.
That man I saw in Patrick Street
Stumbling on the kerb was one,
He stared at me wild-eyed,
I might have been his Hon.
And I remember the musician
Faltering over his fiddle
In Ballincollig, Cork,
He too set me the riddle.
Every old man I see
In any-coloured weather
Seems to say to me:
"I was once your lover."
I think my biggest problem, If I were ever to be out there "on the market" again would be an oversupply of confidence. I just have too much. That makes me sound like a pain in the ass, and maybe I am, but I'm admitting it here for the sake of the whole world (y'see I'm that important - the whole world is depending on me) - you'll see why in a minute. I think I'm brilliant, to the extent that when I meet a new guy I'm always searching in the first five minutes to find the gentlest possible way to let them know I'm taken. It's only fair, I think to myself.
The reason I feel I have to talk about this is that the whole economic mess the world is in, is due, in large part, to lack of confidence. Greedy confident guys playing games with money, turning into Greedy scared guys. There's still the same amount of stuff in the world, same amount of energy, same amount of Greedy guys but suddenly we're all poor because no one believes anymore. It's like with Tinkerbell - you just have to believe.
My three pronged approach to building confidence is as follows:
1. Be lucky enough to have people (or even one person) around you who believe in you, my family, friends, main squeeze - all think I'm brilliant, and have even said it to me "You're brilliant" they say. It's a big part of it.
2. Do things that scare you as regularly as possible. When you attempt things you're not sure you can do - EVEN if you fail miserably - and especially if you don't - you'll feel great for trying. This doesn't include really scary things, like with real danger - I'm not recommending those at all. I'm saying it's a bit like taking exercise - If you risk bruising your ego - even if you do, it'll end up stronger.
3. Be Stoopid. You have to be gullible enough to believe it, when you're told you're great, even if it's you doing the telling. You have to buy it.
If confidence is a type of stupidity though - is it ok? It's liable to shattering from time to time as well - like an alzheimer's patient, suddenly realising it's not the 30's, I sometimes wake up and wonder - am I all I crack myself up to be? but then I just rebuild the little wall of Stupidence and happily go on my way. Is there a way we can apply these learnings to save the world? Anyone? Anyone? Or is the loosing of confidence actually a good thing - a sign the world is finally getting smarter? And maybe we should be happy about that?
Anyway - tis a bit o food for thought. Hope you have a happy and Stupident "Expensive piece of cardboard and chocolate" day.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"Books and BloggingWednesday 18 February @ 7.00pmThe Irish Blog Awards presents a panel discussion with Sarah Rees Brennan, Twenty Major, Ivan O'Brien and Mags Walsh alongside other special guests. The discussion will cover all things book and blogging, mixed with wine, water, the odd chocolate bar and finishing with an open-floor Q&A. Poetry Ireland sponsors the Best Arts and Culture category in the Awards. Irish Writers' Centre, 19 Parnell Square, D1
T: 01 4789974 E: firstname.lastname@example.org W: poetryireland.ie"
I like it because it came in my emailbox today and means I don't have to make anything up - have enough to be doin - I've just been asked if I'm a blogaholic, and if I should go to blogaholics anonymous, even the fish think I'm neglecting em....
In other news - have declared d'aul novel done... for now. I've done as much as I'm doing. Going to get a few kind souls to trawl through it and try and think of kind things to say about it, before it gets shoved in a drawer. If you think you could be one of those kind souls do let me know...
Monday, February 9, 2009
I gave my 3 months and 2 a half hours notice today, although I was a bit early, so it was more like 3 months and 3 hours notice, the guy thought I was cutting it tight either way.
He flirted with me, while we waited for Mr VCTB, obviously a deliberate tactic, If you can resist a man with such power as a Registrar, then you're really ready. Then he tested me on my general knowledge of t'other half. I didn't know his birthday, place of birth, middle name, job description, who his main witness would be, or his PPS number. I did know his mother's maiden name. Strange.
Anyway the list of people a woman may not marry was the most exciting part of the transaction, had to review and see that the Fiancee didn't fit in any of the following categories.
A woman may not marry her:
2 Grandmother's husband
3 Husband's grandfather
4 Father's brother
5 Mother's brother
6 Father's sister's husband
7 Mother's sister's husband
8 Husband's father's brother
9 Husband's mother's brother
12 Husband's father
14 Husband's son
15 Daughter's husband
17 Son's son
18 Daughter's son
19 Son's daughter's husband
20 Daughter's daughter's husband
21 Husband's son's son
22 Husband's daughter's son
23 Brother's sons
24 Sister's son
25 Brother's daughter's husband
26 Sister's daughter's husband
27 Husband's brother's son
28 Husband's sister's son
And vice versa for the man ie - start the list with Grandmother instead, and change the sexes as you go down the way.
Number 23 is not my typo - you're not allowed marry your brother's sons - your brother's son singular is not mentioned.
Suddenly I have 28 new novel ideas..... or at least 28 plotlines for Rikki Lake
By the way sincerest apologies if this ruins anyone's Valentines plans
Sunday, February 8, 2009
So in other news - various is promised, and various is what you get - I read my short story last night. The new Rua place is great. I was last up as it turned out, and it was a bit of a squeeze fitting everyone in, timewise, I wasn't sure whether to be worried about whether I'd get to read, or whether I'd be utterly crap if I got to read. I got to read, and hopefully wasn't utterly crap, but it was another first over and done with, and people from the second row back say they didn't even notice the warm snot dripping from my nose from the middle of the second paragraph onwards, so that was nice of them.
Now I can't sleep, altho it's really early on a sunday morning, snow is tinkling down outside, and I should do some work on D'aul novel - so I think I will now.
Here's saturday's snippet, it's a bit less horrific than the last one: inspired by a clothes peg, and a piece of real fur that some despicable animal killer brought to the group:
The pegs were a present, what kind of a housewarming present was that, pinks and greens, she left em on the line, basket lost long ago, what was the point of carryin em in and out, in and out, all day, hardly ever left clothes out anyway, this weather, hardly ever washed clothes, turn the jumper inside out, back to front, you'd hardly see the stains at all. These pegs were getting her goat though, why had they gotten so flimsy, freeze thaw action? Shoulda taken better care of them. A money spider or 2 living in each and every one, under the spring, between the clasps, stupid things snapped at the top if she grabbed em too quick. She cursed the plastic shards that littered the lawn, didn't pick em up; let feckin next doors dog eat em, next time he's in, let him choke on em, she'd make a nice scarf from his tail.
(If my aunty is reading... yes your present of pegs partly inspired this, but they were a great present, they are brilliant pegs, and they live firmly indoors, and they don't break easily)
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Various will be absent from Aquafit class tonight, as she has a verucca, and her swimming hat is not dry, and her fish are feeling lonely and need the extra company. Please pass on her homework to one of her many friends in the class, and we can guarantee she will attend with Gusto next week. Apologies for any inconvenience caused....
Ok - real reason being my legs are still knackered from my adventures but also because I wanted to be doing other things today, and they didn't happen. In fact 3 out of 4 major plans I made today were cancelled due to the weather. The only one that wasn't cancelled was going to work, and in fact I ended up at work 1.5 hours longer than usual. One of the things that was cancelled "because of the weather" was a poetry reading. It was going to be taking place indoors, tonight, I know poets can be delicate things, but maybe a plastic tunnel could have been constructed, or a hood for them to wear on moving from their cars to the hall door, to protect them from the "elements" Gah!
As for me, I am on plan D for the evening, but don't even want to make a plan now, because say if I plan to go upstairs, have a bath, dry my hair and read a book, going on today's stats, 3 out of 4 of those plans wouldn't happen. That'd be ok; but what if I only manage to dry my hair, without having gone upstairs or had a bath - wouldn't that be super creepy? I think I need to rest, take the evening as it comes, be spontaneous, but not as much as yesterday. That's the plan now so. (darnit!)
Monday, February 2, 2009
A thorough search of the area yeilded this macabre sight in the nearby car park...