Sunday, December 12, 2010

On Titus's poetry bus

This week Titus gave us two soul searching and interesting prompts which can be found here
along with other ticket holders.

Mine's based on the first, but it came out a bit obscure....

Hands Free

I never touched a thing

no part that was I then is left

yet I can be felt

wet memories make up a breathing dog

couch dozing lightly

remembrances from chickens, earth and fields

amazing things can happen in the dark

14 comments:

the watercats said...

love this poem. It really is quite magical and very dreamlike. A bit like the film. It made wierd stuff out of my brain too today :-)

Helen said...

I watched the amazing video too .. you captured its 'essence' well.

Jinksy said...

no part that was I then is left
yet I can be felt

I love the conundrum of this statement, but have a great urge to re-arrange the words - or pehaps just leave out 'then'? You clearly got right into the spirit of the video...

Titus said...

I'm with the watercats - there is an otherworldliness to this I really like.
Two great lines for me;

'no part that was I then is left'

and especially that final line, which is the absolute essence of the Matreyek video, on so many levels;

'amazing things can happen in the dark'

Perfecto!

The Bug said...

Ooh I like this! And I like the "then" - leave it! Sorry Jinksy :)

Kat Mortensen said...

I like the wet memories and the breathing dog.
Chickens? I'd like to hear more about that.
Kat

Totalfeckineejit said...

You really love that dog! Curious poem, in a nice way,there but not there, reminds me of a nightime photo thatleaves out the detail but captures the essence. Feck! Maybe it should go in the jar!

izzy said...

Amazing what gets drawn up -eh?
really enjoyed this,thanks!

120 Socks said...

There's a bit of the shakespeare about the line, 'no part of what I then is left', I too like'amazing things can happen in the dark'. Dreamy and enjoyable.

Niamh B said...

Thanks cats, my brain doesn't need help with the weird today, sleep walking takes care of that!
Thanks Helen.
Jinksy - I do think there's something wrong with the rhythm of those two lines alright, but was too lazy to try and fix em!
Thanks Titus!
And Bug, the "then" thanks you especially :-)
Chickens indeed Kat! I probably need psychoanalysis to figure that one, on a simple level it means dog food is made of chicken, dog's body converts it to power the dog bits. No one said it had to be nice.
TFE - to quote a song "She's really taken to me this dog"!
Glad you enjoyed.
Tis true Izzy, and so funny how we all get such different paths from the one point
Thanks Socks, I can confirm that this week at least, no shakespeare has been (intentionally) borrowed for use in this poem. :-)

Enchanted Oak said...

I felt something like this when I woke up today. This mystical little poem leaves me with a sense of wonder for the joy of breathing dogs, and the liveliness of chickens, earth, and fields.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Oak, glad you enjoyed

Cad said...

Well, that makes the old brainbox whirr into action...Thanks.

Niamh B said...

Glad to help Cad!!