Thursday, May 27, 2010

Soft Landing for the Poemonomy

Turns out the poem industry is to have a fairytale ending after all. The government are said to be putting on hold all plans to enforce their new poet licensing regulations when it was found by an independant task force that everyone can write their own poetry at home without posing any risk to public health.
Hamish Seaney is said to have released his child labour poetry factory workers back into the wild in hopes that they will continue to write "yknow, using sticks and mud" he says - staring off wistfully into the distance.
The queues at the various popular poetry stalls have quietened down, with less injuries reported in the daily morning stampede for poetry.
"People are buying their stuff with a bit more composure" says an unnamed man on the street. "They know it's not like it's going to run dry now, so it's calmer like, now that everyone is officially allowed to write their own stuff again"
The poets too are appreciating the difference:
"Well, I have my life back, y'know, I can just walk anywhere without worrying about being mobbed for poems. It's true, it's healthier this way. Poetry's back to being like any other professional career with steady work and a secure future," says one.

So that's all from this well known troubadour of Dublin poetry for now... more here on that!
(they must've checked their facts on my well known-ness with my granny, she knows me v well)

8 comments:

Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

Well, that's a relief. Things were starting to get out of hand ...

Totalfeckineejit said...

I've just heard they're setting up P.A.M.A

Peter Goulding said...

I've already organised sending 430 of my bad poems to PAMA, leaving only my 2 good poems clogging up my C Drive.

the watercats said...

I don't know if I trust it though...

Niamh B said...

They were Lorenzo, and it is.
Yes TFE - surely nothing to worry about - the poetry developers seem to think it's good news.
Peter, that is most organised, but I find it hard to believe you managed get those all accurately valued in such a short time, are you sure there mightn't be more good poems among those 430?
Watercats - that's like saying you don't trust the universe or random strangers with silly thoughts... you've got to trust it!

Ross said...

I hear the PSE (Poetry Service Executive) is going to withdraw the universal over 70s poetry card and that it will be means-tested. Is this true?

Niamh B said...

Ross, I believe the age of retirement for poets is going up (even further), but haven't heard anything on the poetry card. There is to be a 10% levy on all new poems - where 10% of the spare words have to be excised from poems immediately after writing and sent to the government to help rebuild the poemonomy, but otherwise no other cut backs...

Ross said...

Perhaps there will be word rationing - you'll get 30,000 as a poet, so use them sparingly (actually, that sounds ok), proportionately more for prosies. After all, we have a nation to save.