"We are proud to announce that Ireland will be the first to convert to full acceptance of poetic currency as of this day next week" so said the minister for finance. Yes - from next week citizens of Ireland will be free to pay for anything with poetry as well as cold hard cash. "I think it's great" said one motorist, pulling up to the toll booth on the M4 motorway, "Next week there'll be no rooting around for loose change, I just grab one of the many spare poems that I always carry with me, read a line or two and the barrier is raised."
First signs of trouble in paradise: there are some fears that unscrupulous poetry developers could be selling second rate poems to unsuspecting punters. "These last few poems that've been doing the rounds" says Terry McDuff, "they're just a bit shoddier than they used to be, you know? Loose ends everywhere"
John, in a string vest, flips through the channels on his poetry viewer, can find nothing other than poems - he shrugs, "But if the while I think of thee dear friend, all losses are restored and sorrows end." John is the latest victim of poetry flu, a new affliction which seem to leave the sufferer unable to communicate through any other means than poetry. The poetritician called to attend him injected him with a dose of anti-rhyme and poetry-blockers, the disease is not thought to be contagious.
7 comments:
Fascinating. I'm reminded of the poetry of Ewan McTeagle, for some reason, which I'd forgotten all about.
It would be interesting to see how it might work. Would a brilliant haiku be worth more than a lengthy but pedestrian narrative poem? Would shopkeeper quibble over the merits of vers libre?
If you won the lottery, would you just get a dirty great anthology?
Stop press. The latest from Reuters is that due to unforseen irritation, the Haiku has been withdrawn as legal tender in The Republic. In fact anyone caught issuing a Haiku in public will be deported to Carlow.
May 24, 2010, 00.40 AM
There is also a lot of fake phoney and counterfeit poetry going around in poetry journals.Watch out for it.In fact avoid it , be safe go to reputable dealers like the online Poetry Bus and the imminent and eminent Poetry Bus Magazine.(see local press for details, neither terms nor conditions apply)
I suppose it was to be expected that this new system would have some teething problems, like any new currency, it's just a matter of getting used to it. The divide between poetry and prose (which is void for currency purposes in the current system) is becoming more and more important to differentiate as well.
What about credit poetry? Verse bonds? Hexameter futures? Tercet options? Villanelle derivatives?
My villanelle derivatives are doing fine i'm told, but I'll have to take the broker's word for it, i've no head for figures..
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