Monday, May 10, 2010


Are you famous? Do you read my blog?

If so, you may be eligible for "the famous people who read the variouscushions blog bursary award" intended to help support famous people in their continued desire to read said blog.
The application form for the Bursary can be obtained from your local county council, anytime between 10.30 and 11.00 on a Thursday, unless the office are on their tea break. Please quote reference vhSOvariouscushions.89.3094h when applying - and state the reasons why you, as a famous person, deserve the support which you are seeking to allow you to continue to read this blog.
Also please include a summary of the 22 things you hope to achieve over the next two months while reading this blog, and examples of where this blog has enriched your famous life in the past. Get the form co-signed by your favourite fictional character from a soap in the presence of a witness in the form of the actor or actress who plays that character, and submit to my office in person before or on 5pm Greenwich Nice Time this Wednesday.
Also leave an anonymous comment to this post, hinting at, but not revealing your identity.
Simple really.
* Bursary will not exceed the value of 22c per decade or 2.2 c per year or part thereof. Terms and conditions apply.


Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

When, I become famous, other than in the confines of my delirious mind, the Bursary will be my very first stopping point.

The Dead Acorn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Dead Acorn said...

Perhaps there are those that would consider me famous, though I don't feel that my accomplishments are worth celebrating any more than those of others. At the risk of losing my own blogging pseudonymity, I suppose I could reveal that I've been nominated for 6 Oscar Awards, and won for Best Supporting Actress in 1998 (Shakespeare In Love). My greatest thrill, however, was the bestowal of Damehood by Her Majesty.

Rest assured, Niamh, I hardly need support to continue to read this blog with a fiery passion.


Dame Judi De .. err,
The Dead Acorn

Niamh B said...

Lorenzo, I'm thrilled to hear it.
Dead Acorn, such modesty, and generosity. Thank you Madam

Anonymous said...

I recently have lost my job, and I would like to read this blog as a way of rediscovering my joie de vivre.


Anonymous said...

Ever since your recent in depth review of my concert, I have enjoyed the sophisticated level of reportage on this blog, and hope I can win the 22c. It's money that I love.

Mr R

Uiscebot said...

I'm so famous my whole three kids know who I am. Please give me the money so I can pay my local head shop bill

Titus said...

I am a small, socially excluded dog
who is nevertheless well-known in my small, socially excluded village, and indeed Keith who runs the shop knows my name.
I require a specially-adapted keyboard in order to fully access your blog and comment without wearing my nose out (which also leaves quantities of dog groo on the keys, infuriating my housekeeper).
In the next two months I would like to sire progeny, but I have been wishing that for many years now. 22 progeny would be nice.
You have posted a picture of a dog toy in the past. This enriched my life, albeit sadly, as I now realise what I am missing.
I would attach the paw-prints of Roly and Wellard, but they are both dead now.

Niamh B said...

GB & Mr R thanks for your interest.
Uisce - proof that your three kids in fact know who you are will be necessary. Head shops are closed down now - you're off the hook!
Titus - this application is moving in the extreme. Bear with us while we evaluate everyone's merits...
In the meantime we can promise in no uncertain terms that further dog toys will be forthcoming!