Sunday, May 16, 2010

Poetry Bus - Ear to the Lino


The orders for this week's bus are as follows -

"I got down on my knees and smelled the new linoleum..."

Start with that line and see where you go with a poem - this line should give you somewhere to go using longer lines, and that's what I'm interested in seeing you develop, nice long lines: think Walt Whitman, Allen Ginsberg, Sinead Morrissey... the Bible - from Barbara's Bleeuugh - where you'll soon find more Bus poets posted up here.

Here's what resulted anyhoodle


19 comments:

Titus said...

Really liked the voice of this, how on earth did you find it from that first line?!
Loved the sequence/series of incidents hinted and alluded to, and the last four lines are tops.
Lovely sound to it too. Good one!

Argent said...

What a great gossipy pome this is. Is it meant to be in an irish accent, becuase it certanly was in my head. How did you get there from here?

Uiscebot said...

brill, loved the gossipy tone, is that the voice you might have been earwigging as a kid perhaps? Great Rhyming too!

Enchanted Oak said...

Good work, and a poem I could relate to. I'm married to one of those nosy Parkers. He keeps me up on the whole neighborhood, not just a few neighbors.

Niamh B said...

Tks Titus - I'm not sure why, I just came up with ear to the ground, from that line, and got the character from that - (we use ear to the ground as a phrase meaning being very observant and watching out for news - do you use it in the same way?).
Yes Argent - definitely an Irish accent, twould be the rural part of where I grew up I think.
Tks Uisce - not anyone I knew as a kid, or at least there wasn't anyone I would have marvelled at in terms of their nosiness, they only came along later.
Thanks Oak, well at least you've no reason to complain for lack of characters if you're getting the low down on everyone!

Peter Goulding said...

Love the colloquialism in this. I'm normally afraid to use it in case I get it wrong, but you have it spot on! Great fun...

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Yeah, i enjoyed this a lot - brilliantly written and got a clear image of this person

Poetikat said...

For me, as a Canadian, this reads like a bit of script from an Irish film and it's great fun and feels authentic. I loved your rhymes - some of them simple, but very effective: the "he is" and fizz, for example. I can just picture this woman, so I can.

Kat

The Bug said...

This was a lot of fun - there's a character like this in all my favorite books. Otherwise, how do you know what's going on?

Pure Fiction said...

This is great - a bit of a surprise, too, springing from that first line the way it does. I like the way you've built this whole community around that single starting point.
Nice one.

Bill said...

Good one. A real curtain twitcher! :)

(Ear to the ground here means the same, by the way).

Niamh B said...

Tks Peter, most kind. :-)
Tks DFTP :-)
Tks Kat, nice of you, so it is.
Tks Bug - does that not spoil things tho?! I suppose we do all love the aul biddy characters... (well I do anyway) :-)
Tks PF - there are quite a few surprises on this weeks bus aren't there?
Tks Bill - and thanks for clarifying. Around the table and mind the dresser now.

Titus said...

Yep, we ear to the ground.
I was with an American accent (think it was the "most mannerly kids") until I got to the Corolla, at which point I transposed to Irish in my head.

Niamh B said...

That's funny! It reads funny in an american accent! though I would have written it different, shall have to ponder that one. Thanks

the watercats said...

ooohh.. I can see her now :-), little house coat on and the works!
Absolutely loved reading this, loved it! :-D

Jeanne Iris said...

Sounds like a former neighbor of mine, Niamh! Great voice here!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Brilliant pome. Funny.Would love to'ear it.One for the multifarious global stages what you do be appearing upon.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Watercats, that's her alright!
Jeanne - which neighbour do you mean? was it that one with the varicose veins or the one who had the affair with the bank man?
Thanks TFE - twill no doubt be broadcast on the six one this evening - as part of RTE's new "Poem an hour" project.
RTE Supporting the Arts...

The Poetry Bus said...

New blog!