Fair Marley

Fair City was a disaster tonight - well not quite - but they played it wrong or accidentally played the second half first and then had to go back and play the first half, and my poor brain was all confused.

In addition to that I watched Marley & Me last night - cute puppy - no story - i almost hoped the dog would die the first time he got sick - sorry anyone who hasn't seen it, actually I'm not sorry, you didn't put yourself through it and now you never have to. The dog dies in the end.

And I wasn't crying it was a bit of fluff in my eye, that's all.

I'm off to read some Kafka, or is it Cathy Kelly - yerrah whichever comes first.

She Arose

She arose,
Pulling herself up on the counter by the soft chairs,
eyes tight with concentration, eyes dark, dark clothes.
Like a shark breaking shining water - teeth grimace like jaws.

She holds the counter bravely,
hands clamped tight on wood,
as the whole nightclub rocks and buffets in the storm of the music,
the rushing wind of lights,
A while later -

- she loses her grip,
slips off the ship
body limp, she hits the steps up to the soft chairs -
but, softly padded, she's protected, and rolls like a baby on the ground,
No bouncers around,
no friend to phone.

No one wants to help or get involved
"Help"
she shouts, then
"Fuck off"
when they try.

She kneels up, then stands, then hours later somehow leaves,
bouncing off the walls, as she flies,
another mystery left unsolved.
How we can end up so alone.
So totally alone.

Brideshead visited

So - my head has officially turned into a brideshead as evidenced by the following psycho bridal dream, which entertained me in the early hours of yesterday morning...

Part I

I'm at the church with mam and all the dresses on hangers - mine & bridesmaids etc, holy communions are on, and I'm due at the hairdresser in 5. Guests are already in the church, cos they saw the white dresses and thought we were starting early. We run out to car park, and car is blocked in because of all the arrivals. There's no taxis to be hailed because of a protest about the economy or the weather that's going up the road.

Part II

We finally get a taxi - driven by a friendly girl, so friendly that she pulls in so she can better concentrate on our chat, after 10 mins we ask her was she stopped for any particular reason - "Oh you're in a hurry?" she asks coolly and pulls out. Then stops 3 estates away from our place so we've to walk back to the house. She comes walking home with us.

Part III

At the house we realise we left the necklace I was gonna wear in the car, the taxi driver girl refuses to go back for it, I'm crying - begging my Dad to "make her go back and get it" etc etc.

Part IV

My aunt arrives with the mass booklets, she's putting them together for us. She has inserted a weird Devil worshipping ceremony in the middle, tells us it's the priests idea and there's a cake that goes with it, part of the ceremony (I blame Dom Oub for that bit). Everyone is trying to convince us to go for it - "Just try the cake and you'll love it"

Weird eh? My first ever time dreaming of my wedding day too! Am sure twill be nothing like that at all - you always dream the opposite - or something?

The one thing I've learned...

....this weekend is that my friends are talented tiara makers, as you can see from the above, and that life saver tablets do not agree with me, but do prevent hangovers because of the slowing down effect they have on my drinking, and that you cannot judge a drink by it's appearance alone, and that I'm a natural Belly Dancer - particularly when it comes to the camel move (of course I couldn't be good at everything - so that explains the Bollywood), and that the word daisy comes from the words day and eye - from the cute way they open up in the sun and close at night - and that I never want to go to a nightclub without pink fluffy wings on my back, they just add so much to the outfit, and that a dip in the atlantic is sometimes hampered by an icecream headache in the arch of your foot for good reason, and that banna beach will always always make me feel hideously good for all the good memories and crazy natural beauty of the place, and that I'm ridiculously lucky to know some amazing people, and get to spend time with them.

HENS!!!

So meself and 15 or so of my favourite girls are off to try and make the lonely Banna Strand a little less lonesome for the weekend. I've got the sunglasses packed, but the optimism hasn't quite stretched to sun cream... will pack a raincoat too. Going to swim in the atlantic for the last time as a singleton, or might just wade to be truthful - either way it should be fun - but don't expect anything sensible or otherwise to show up on this page till next wednesday earliest...

And by the way - I know I've used that photo before - but it actually suits this post, and repetition is comforting after all... repetition is comforting after all...

A Pokey Post

How do you wake up Lady Ga Ga?

Poke her face

How do you get Pika chu on to the bus?

Poke him on

Now, I'm not endorsing violence or anything, but I've been trying hard all day (since recalling the above 2 little gems on the 6.25 am Ryansbus to Engerland) to think of a third poke related joke... But my head is simply not working. I'm going to go and pack for my hen weekend, and hope that you clever people out there in the ether will think of something to complete the trio...

I was looking for a blog and then I found a blog...

So - here's my current favourite international blog, think it's finland based, I'm informed that it's called Witch of April, the photos are nice - the writing is foreign, tho' not quite squiggly,,, we'll see

http://huhtikuunnoita.blogspot.com/

Still Slippy

For those of you who lie awake at night, worrying about such things... a brief update on the slippiest pole in Dublin, first reported in this blog on 24th March.

Almost one month on and the situation is not much better. In fact, it can only be described as .... WORSE.

The surrounding area is also slippy now, so much so that the lawnmowers couldn't get near it, as you can see above, it's out of control, hopelessly overgrown, and the whole street has been cordoned off by Gardaí.

Brian has declared a state of emergency in the region.

More Recession Beating Tips for Writers

1. Write on old Chip bags, the aroma is wonderfully evocative and inspiring, and the raw materials are freely available outside any pub or nightclub on weekend nights.

2. Burn any useless writing for warmth - (this is a more important one for the winter time, but hey I have australian readers, she wishes, it's topical enough) - the high fat content of the paper will help the fire to burn bright and last for hours, perfect for cosy evenings in - trying to write something not totally useless.

3. Instead of having actual hobbies and interests, imagine them, and then write about them - thereby eliminating costly investments in ski gear and the like, and giving you hours of inspiration. Not to mention it's far safer.

4. If you have to have a day job try to have one in the food industry - preferably in research and development, so that you get paid to research international customs and cuisines, and importantly you are also paid to eat things... so no need to be the starving artist

5. Never pay for entertainment - Volunteer instead - you will have hours of fun, usually in well heated venues, sometimes with free coffee, always with interesting characters.

If there are any I've missed out on - please feel free to add them to the comment box

New Way to Win Writing Competitions

Here's a new approach to try in order to win those pesky writing competitions where there's a fee involved - directly stolen off a guy I once heard of who used this method to win the lotto, in his own way, I think you'll find it most satisfying and cost effective.

Next time you see a writing competition that you really really want to enter:

Step 1: Go ahead and write the story/ poem whatever - to the required length - on the required subject etc etc.

Step 2: Next put the entry into a drawer and forget about it.

Step 3: Before the closing date for the competition - ensure you place the fee for entry into a clean jam jar. - No cheating - if it would have had to be a bank draft ensure you include the extra cost for that. If you like include the cost of the stamps.

Step 4: Once the winner is announced - have a read of their entry - if it's better than yours congratulate yourself on winning the cost of entry back... (because you never sent the entry in)

You now have two choices - either take the entry fee back out of the jar, and celebrate accordingly, or let it build up over the year and award yourself an arts bursary - probably the week before Christmas.

If everyone did this, we'd soon see the demise of these evil organisations taking all our money and distracting us with promises of glamour and celebrity, and we can all get on with writing what needs to be written from the heart....

(Or at least if I've convinced a few of ye not to enter I'll have better luck next time!!!)