And below is my little attempt (on the plus side - it's very short)
Deciding to Go
Walls sang with mats from different beers
and I, curled up with ruffled thoughts
was thrown to chance of changing tunes
one sign post in the town just told the place
threads of drifting friendships were rewound
and stored
so, carefully I packed myself away
to seep back through the cracks on distant days
17 comments:
I like this one Niamh,this last line is lovely....
'carefully I packed myself away to seep back through the cracks on distant days'
I wish I'd done that!
Nice.
Yet again showing your tremendous versatility, Niamh. Poetry at its finest
'curled up with ruffled thoughts' ah, the image it conjures! Nice!
Yes this is a fine piece - reflective and a rather sad, but beautiful at the same time
Thanks TFE, I'm not much good at packing in reality though - wrinkled balls a go go
Thanks DA, Peter, and Helen - very kind ;-)
Gwei - not sure if I meant it happy or sad, but glad for your feedback anyway!
I love the idea of seeping back through the cracks. It's a great line and a great image!
'threads of drifting friendships...' This really resonates with me. Sometimes I have a hard time with the "driftiness" of friendships.
It's all really good, but I like that "but I, curled up with ruffled thoughts" line. I like the phrasing of it and the use of "ruffled". Really nice, Niamh!
Kat
You get more out this poem each time you read it. Well done. Loved the last line as well.
Thanks Karen, I'm seeing a cracked and battered suitcase, you know the old cardboard ones?! Thanks again for the prompt
Thanks Bug - they drift, but the good ones always come back in the end.
Thanks a mill Kat, very kind
Thanks so much Socks, sweet of you to say so.
You put me right there in the pub? bar? and hand me a stale beer, and tell me this tale, and I think I want to weep when you're finished.
Tks Oak, what a sweet comment. The room with beer mats on walls would have been my own bedroom during college - I was a bit sad like that!
very nice... sort of captures a very real atmosphere... did I say how brilliant it was to see you at the poetry bus launch the other week?... you were great anyway!
thanks a mill hon, very kind :-)
But sweet! Very nice.
Thanks Titus :)
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