Sunday, November 14, 2010

Karen's Decision Bus

See here for this week's Bus Prompt from the very brilliant Karen

And below is my little attempt (on the plus side - it's very short)

Deciding to Go


Walls sang with mats from different beers

and I, curled up with ruffled thoughts

was thrown to chance of changing tunes

one sign post in the town just told the place

threads of drifting friendships were rewound

and stored

so, carefully I packed myself away

to seep back through the cracks on distant days

17 comments:

Totalfeckineejit said...

I like this one Niamh,this last line is lovely....

'carefully I packed myself away to seep back through the cracks on distant days'

I wish I'd done that!

The Dead Acorn said...

Nice.

Peter Goulding said...

Yet again showing your tremendous versatility, Niamh. Poetry at its finest

Helen said...

'curled up with ruffled thoughts' ah, the image it conjures! Nice!

Gwei Mui said...

Yes this is a fine piece - reflective and a rather sad, but beautiful at the same time

Niamh B said...

Thanks TFE, I'm not much good at packing in reality though - wrinkled balls a go go
Thanks DA, Peter, and Helen - very kind ;-)
Gwei - not sure if I meant it happy or sad, but glad for your feedback anyway!

Karen said...

I love the idea of seeping back through the cracks. It's a great line and a great image!

The Bug said...

'threads of drifting friendships...' This really resonates with me. Sometimes I have a hard time with the "driftiness" of friendships.

Kat Mortensen said...

It's all really good, but I like that "but I, curled up with ruffled thoughts" line. I like the phrasing of it and the use of "ruffled". Really nice, Niamh!

Kat

120 Socks said...

You get more out this poem each time you read it. Well done. Loved the last line as well.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Karen, I'm seeing a cracked and battered suitcase, you know the old cardboard ones?! Thanks again for the prompt
Thanks Bug - they drift, but the good ones always come back in the end.
Thanks a mill Kat, very kind
Thanks so much Socks, sweet of you to say so.

Enchanted Oak said...

You put me right there in the pub? bar? and hand me a stale beer, and tell me this tale, and I think I want to weep when you're finished.

Niamh B said...

Tks Oak, what a sweet comment. The room with beer mats on walls would have been my own bedroom during college - I was a bit sad like that!

the watercats said...

very nice... sort of captures a very real atmosphere... did I say how brilliant it was to see you at the poetry bus launch the other week?... you were great anyway!

Niamh B said...

thanks a mill hon, very kind :-)

Titus said...

But sweet! Very nice.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Titus :)