This week's tough but straight forward bus challenge was to write
"Poems that address your existence on this earth. Good, bad, or indifferent, tell us something, anything, about your life here." from the wonderful Enchanted Oak - visit her here for further bus Passengers
Here's what I got:
Driven to seek out comforts
I steal to the cosiest spot of a messy room
Crave a smile through gloom
Want to see bright in all
and feel
Feel all there is
All textures, temperatures, tastes, triumphs, terrors
Kiss every face, wear every kind of lace there is
bootleg, dead queen, liquorice,
Dream of crazy races, paces, lifetimes in alien lands
and understand
the canned laughter, the over planned,
the fake wasted grandiose delinquent strands will grow out their bleach some day
Give way to wavy beaches, stony, grey – but real and speaking wisdom
Laughing back the spray onto the shore
and more
15 comments:
Wonderful - all those lovely internal rhymes and alliteration lapping over each other.
Begs to be read, we crave to hear it!
Ah you're just too blinkin good. Going to head back to drown in my novel madness!! The poem is beautiful by the way!
I like the person this describes, who would pick a cozy corner instead of clean the messy room. Like Peter says, your poem is rich with sound, and you make me laugh with the lace thing. The laughing spray gets me good.
I can hear your voice in my head IN MY HEAD when I read this. Get out!
also love the internal rhymes
Ooh, I thought I was one place with those first four lines, then you shifted me sideways, and then at 'and understand' you turned me upsidedown. It was deeper and deeper in.
And yes, you are the queen of sound. Great one!
And suffering stained glass! Who knew!
giving way to wavy beaches, stony, grey, sneaking wisdom.
such respect for yourself, I admire your obsevant writing skills.
Di
mine is HERE
I love how this sounds & the voice it has. If I've misinterpreted, I apologize, but I wanted to say that I'm trying to grow out my bleached strands to see what the beach looks like these days :)
internal rhymes! my favourites! i particularly liked -
Kiss every face, wear every kind of lace there is
bootleg, dead queen, liquorice
yup!.. this is texture and a half.. lovely tongue licking goodness.. (if you get my drift). does this mean that that's what you are?... hhhmmmmmmm.. intervesting...
Thanks Peter and TFE, think I'll leave off reading it out if ye don't mind tho!
Ah thanks Socks, you're too kind.
Thanks Oak - just comes naturally - the comfort seeking as opposed to tidying :-)
Tks EW - hope the voices have stopped now!
Ah thanks Titus, most kind - yes I even told them about TFE's attempt at vandalism, but Harry Clarke is tougher than that!
Thanks Dianne, glad you enjoyed
Bug - no I think you've got what I was kinda getting at. Thanks!
Thanks Swiss, imagining the liquorice lace outfit was probably the funnest bit of this for me too!
Thanks watercats, I guess it's one side of me at least, subject to change at the drop of a hat, terms and conditions apply
:)
I sneaked a peak at this yesterday, but didn't comment (still had to work out what mine would be).
I love the messy room, the lace, "dead queen"???, the canned laughter, the bleached strands to stony gray and the especially, the "laughing back the spray"
The lovely interwoven rhymes delighted me too.
Kat
Seeps in under the radar, the way good poetry should.
Thanks Kat - yes - was thinkin Victorian lace or something along those lines - of course neglected all the lovely laces we have here locally - just not enough of a knowledge of it I'm afraid.
Aw, thanks Dave, very kind
:-)
Delicious.
How do you know just what I like, all that laughter and lace from the coziness of the spot by the radiator & damn the mess?
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