Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Poem which attempts to Dissuade you from bringing your Jellyfish to Homebase

Another in the series of poems which attempt to dissuade you from bringing various forms of living things to various places of business. I'm posting a day earlier than normal because I'm away on a mad adventure for the rest of the week and well into next week and all the rest of this weeks' posts will actually be prewritten things that are going to be posted up at scheduled times even though I won't be here to see your reactions, ain't technology mad tho!
This weeks' effort was prompted by Emerging Writer's comment on her Diva's at the Body & Soul Festival post...

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Jellyfish to Homebase

Don't bring your jellyfish to Homebase
I don't care if he asks you with exquisite grace
or threatens to sting you, I don't want to see your face
with him tucked under your arm there.

Don't let him convince you he's that fastidious
and wants a new shower curtain less hideous
than what you have, he's not even amphibious
which means he'll feel fairly alarmed there

Yes homebase is no place for your boneless wonder
he'd be sure to tear the displays all asunder
while searching for aquarium toys, what a blunder
it'd be, he'd lose every charm there

So sit him down and rub his belly
Tell him it's not just because he's smelly
there's just too many sharp things there for a jelly
No homebase for your jellyfish today


Totalfeckineejit said...

Farmers sometimes plough a lonely furrow.To the outside world it may seem mundane laborious, nay even monotonous, turning oft stony grey soil with ancient blade and four hoofed beast..But come the ploughing championships amidst fellow bretheren, disciples of the art and niche specialists from the 32 counties Every aching sinew and sore-footed hour behind the horse is recognized, applauded, appreciated, lauded, perhaps some fine day even deified.And so it is with your 'Dissuading poems', which are developing into honed jewels coming ever closer to the zenith of the genre.Plough on brave poet, plough on!

The Dead Acorn said...

What about Wanda, my Woman O’ War?
Though jellyfish-ish, she’s a siphonophore.
Without her suggestions, my home would be waste
She’s completely inedible, but still has great taste.

Have fun on your mad adventure, whatever it may be.

Gwei Mui said...

Alas and shame on me I've never quite seen the attracton of a jellyfish companion. Who'd have thought that these creatures could be so adept at home furnishings

Niamh B said...

Thank you TFE, I will plough on!
(and perhaps there'll be a worm forgiving a plough in one of these poems yet some fine day)
Acorn, bar none that is the finest use of the word siphonophore in a poem EVER. Tk you re the adventure - will try and get pics/ fill ye in after
Gwei Mui - it's no great loss, as the poem aims to demonstrate, it's mostly just themselves that think they are hugely designorily talented!

Titus said...

I'm with TFE, these are just getting finer and finer. Magnificent work.
And I promise I never will.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Titus, you'll be better off in the long run!

Emerging Writer said...

omg your rhymes
are sublime!

a real treat

Niamh B said...

tk you muchly ew!!!!