Sunday, June 27, 2010

On the Pixie Poetry Bus

So this week we were directed by Don't feed the Pixies to take inspiration from a sign for a place in your locality. About 3 minutes away from where I live is a place called Adamstown - It's the first planned town in Ireland since 1982. It was greatly praised in the early days of its planning for the fact that it was actually being planned - a housing development for up to 25,000 people and they were going to put schools and shops in etc. The schools are up and running there now. The place isn't as full as it would be if it weren't for the whole R-word though, and it featured on a recent TV show here about ghost estates mentioning how certain play areas that were planned and promised haven't been delivered there yet.

Anyway - mine's below - other bussers can be found here....


16 comments:

Gwei Mui said...

Gosh - I'm going to have read this a few more times. Instinctively it's a hard piece, showing a reflection that maybe we would rather not see,

"He remembers heaven from here

can recall nude barefoot bliss,

...
until greed got better weather,

hot and muggy"

Really powerful stuff

Totalfeckineejit said...

Intriguing.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Gwei, and TFE...


:-)

jinksy said...

Disconcerting...

Peter Goulding said...

As a comment on the current development meltdown this is terrific. We bought off the plans too and the green fields opposite soon sprouted more estates! Don't bring your money spider to Hamilton Osborne King?

Dave King said...

There are so many good things parcelled up here. I enjoyed it v ery much. Very imaginative and some great lines (I particularly fell for "free air weighed with wondering"), but most of all it is just a lovely poem.

Niamh B said...

Tks Jinksy - hopefully in a good way? :-)
There's a thought Peter! I'll mull in over, thanks in the mean time.
Thank you very much Dave, very kind! :-)

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

"She wears snake-skin boots with her bikini He tramples season'd flowers septic afraid to stop and give directions eyesight narrows by the hour"

I like the idea of turning the place into a physical being and then the imagery at the end - its a pome that demands re-reading to get the best of it. Thanks for playing

Argent said...

As DFTP says - it demands a second read. I thought the image of wearing snakeskin boots was sharp in the Edem/Adam/Eve context. This is proper poerty.

Niamh B said...

Thanks DFTP - I really enjoyed this prompt, would never have written this without it, so thanks!
Thanks Argent, very kind :-)

Niamh B said...

Thanks DFTP - I really enjoyed this prompt, would never have written this without it, so thanks!
Thanks Argent, very kind :-)

Pure Fiction said...

It's demanding lots of re-reading, but loads of things in this I really like - temptation lumpy lodged stuck halfway down his neck - models toothy animated off the cartoon coloured boards, and those last four or five lines are really striking.

Karen said...

That was I who voted "Brilliant." It is; it is! Love every bit of this journey from Eden.

Niamh B said...

Thanks PF - kind of fascinated at how many people say it needs rereading, but thanks for the kind words!
Thanks Karen, glad you enjoyed - and thanks for the vote!

Jeanne Iris said...

Your description of the planned town and Adam's reflection truly is 'fantabulous!'

Niamh B said...

Thanks Jeanne!