Thursday, July 23, 2009

Helping you find everlasting happiness

Did you know that 3 out of 4 of the most attractive single people in the whole world read this blog? every day?
Well they do....
So if you're one of them and you're out on the pull tonight - as would be your wont to do, here's a new chat up technique for you to try. Simply ask the person you fancy whether they read this blog.
If they act confused and pretend not to have heard of it, don't worry, most people do this with me too, not sure why.... (not that I'd be chatting anyone up - respectable married woman that I am)
Anyway - tell them to check it out - write it down for them if necessary...
Now - if you are on the recieving end of said chat up technique - simply leave your message for the person with inscrutible good taste in the comment box below... There you are now - everyone knows where they stand - much better than simply hopping on the person and hoping for the best... far more civilised.

I'd like to point out here that I am merely trying to make your search for happiness and fulfillment easier - and anyone who says it's just a sad attempt to get more than the usual 3 (yes numbers are slipping) people to read my blog is talking pure balderdash


beedlemama said...

Hopping on the person and hoping for the best!! I love that. Was that a pre-Donal technique?

Lily Sheehan said...

I like this technique, and I too am having blog recession. I always find a good ol' limerick competition helps. Its like the kareoke of the blogging world.

I hope never to be hopping on anyone and hoping for the best ever again so I may have to try this technique instead, well if I was single of course. I'll be sure to spread the word though.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey! Baldy with the curly teeth and the squint,Yes, I do read this blog and you're a lovely woman n all, despite the scabies, but I'm married, sorry.

Niamh B said...

BM - yes, that and acting all confused and vulnerable, askin men in nightclubs what they were doin in my house, basically pretendin I had early onset alzheimers, worked scarily often.
LS - cool - will keep in mind about the limerick comp, actually beginning to think I may have no "singletons" at all - I'll have to talk to my marketeers.
TFE - how very noble of you, very very noble

Anonymous said...

I'm broken hearted


Anonymous said...

Dearest Laura,

Yes, yes and a thousand times yes, I will bring you to Xdonalds tomorrow during your lunch break... regular sized meal only - want you to keep your gorgeous figure


Anonymous said...


I was talkin like somewhere expensive, OMG


Dominic Rivron said...

Numbers down? I read that a lot. I put it down to the time of year.

Uiscebot said...

Mary. I have your wooden leg. Will give it back for sex with the cow, sorry the bull.

Anonymous said...


For the last time, the bull is not interested. Now give it back!!!


Jessica said...

Man with the scruffy beard and sad eyes:

Sorry, I wasn't actually interested in the story about your dead cat. Just wanted those beers you kept buying me.

Better luck next time!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Also, Angelina Jolie, please forget me me will ya? I know Brad Pitt isn't exactly TFE but he's all you got,your married for better, for worse,stick it out,I know it seems impossible right now to live without me but you'll get over it-eventually.
Ps. I got the crunchy peanut butter in Aldi.

Mrs Niamh 'Man and Superman' the world tour' (art of the moving statues movement)will shortly be ready to wing it's way to you.The current custodians 'The watercats' seem very nice people and haven't murdered anyone in weeks,so I will forward on your address.Alternatively they could post it back to me and I could post it to you, but in all honesty I'm a total Looper and I already have yer address. Whadya think?

Niamh B said...

Oh dear, TFE - since you're obviously besieged between Angelina and Baldy, I wouldn't dream of adding further to the complication of your life - do pass on the address to water cats - with a note asking them please not to rob or maim me.
Uisce I'm with Mary - give back that leg, she says it's awful awkward getting around without it.
Jessica - that's terribly cruel, though I'd say you deserved the beers for putting up with him, hope they were suitably thirst quenching.
Dominic - thanks, am heartened by that, yerrah it's not like it matters anyway,,, I hope... cos if it does I'm in trouble!!
Laura & Kierán - get a room.