All gone off food has been hunted down and removed from the cupboards, shoes have been relocated to their more rightful places in the house, where they won't be accused of lying in wait to trip up Mr VC, 3 loads of clothing have been washed, pink feathers have been swept away, and post picked up off the ground. Mounds of loose paper tidied up and stacked in proper stacks at least around the dining room table.
Time to get my act together.
Husband is coming back.
I'm a bit nervous truth be told. Haven't NOT seen him for this long since that time known as "before we met". For 3 weeks he's been sunning himself, going to Céilís, living in a mini paradise - in order words turning himself into a bronzed gaelic god; I've been letting myself go, running ragged, eating crap, (popcorn featured as a regular dinner item). What if he doesn't like me any more? I mean I know we said "till death..." etc there a few months ago, but y'know a bit of perspective, a bit of time to himself away from my nasal whining and perpetual stink of onion powder... what if he has reassessed and realised and wants an annulment? What then? Tips for how to keep your husband most gratefully recieved.... I have until Saturday to implement them, so bear that in mind - quick fixes only please....
5 comments:
Mrs EEjit uses superglue.
Ignore the smell of peat that will cling to all his clothes - or spray some more onion powder around to make him realise he is actually home.
New water-bed not a good idea. He might think he is on island again, with crowd of hot teenagers lusting after him and swipe you out of the way (as he has been doing with them for 3 weeks).
Practice saying things like "Did you really?" and "Wasn't that great?" while you plan your next blog. (Sorry, that one is for in ten years time, not for a newly-wed like yourself).
Seriously - how could he not love you, not have been seriously lonely without you? I mean, look at yourself Missus. What a woman to come home to...
Although he is now a gaelic god, you are a literary queen and I would say his mind will boggle at your activities over the last few weeks.... maybe add in that getting in and out of bed without him was almost impossible (but you soldiered on...)
or just be naked when he gets home?!
This Knockan/Stockan Festival sounds like just your thing. Cose to home (on the Blessington Lakes) and they want dancers and comedians to come along - as well as poets!
TFE - what brand?
DQ - tks, as always you are a font of wisdom - knockanstockan looks brilliant alright, but will unfortunately have to miss it - away on our 2nd honeymoon - try and revive the old magic (otherwise known as a family holiday with his folks)
BM - I do like your advice, but it will be tricky as I've to pick him up from the bus, on a saturday afternoon, I just don't have the tinted windows that would be necessary to do it subtly...
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