Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Iguana to Apache Pizza

Like Monday's romantic poem - this one has special resonance for me, Apache Pizza being the site of Mr VC and I's second date. No wonder I was smitten

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Iguana to Apache Pizza*
.
Don't-a bring your Iguana to Apache Pizza
It'll lose it's-a dewlap, get tomato on feets-a
This is one little-a lizard who can't take the heats-a
Better tell-a him now, you-a better not yeild
.
They won't sell him wine there - mixed or varietal
And the staff there won't discuss no problems societal
He's as well watching TV through his eye that's parietal
Or to blend with the grass in the field
.
And Iguana's are rarely served nice pepperoni
So your little fella will likely get moany
No he doesn't live there, níl sé ina chónaí **
Apache yells hurt his subtympanic shield
.
So tell your Iguana, it'd just hurt his gizzard
Twould be less fun than meeting a tired Eddie Izzard
He's not like a turtle, it's home for this lizard
No Apache Pizza for your Iguana today
.
* Pizza place in Dublin City Centre
** He is not resident...

10 comments:

Peter Goulding said...

And, also, he might end up as one of their toppings. I often have to tell them to go easy on the iguana.

120 Socks said...

What are you going to do if you fail to dissuade? There could be riots in the streets if all these pets rebel!

NanU said...

I'm with Peter - he could definitely end up topping, especially in a place called "Apache" pizza, mixing those native Americans with Old World foodstuffs. Apaches don't usually go far enough south for there to be an abundance of iguanas but I bet they'd still see one and think, er, "hm, nice lizard". Then the Chinese cook would swoop your pet up and chop! chop! Pizz' of the Day!

The Dead Acorn said...

To take him would show something less than expedience
Some parlors are looking for exotic ingredients
I implied this to Bob (my little iguana)
Then asked him to go, and he screamed “I DON’T WANNA!”

"through his eye that's parietal" - I do enjoy a poem in which I learn something.

Niamh B said...

Peter & NanU & even Acorn - They use nothing but the finest of ingredients, I'm sure...
(and acorn - delighted to educate as always) :-)
Socks - Failure is not an option!!

Domestic Oub said...

Some of the best rhymes ever!

Gerry Snape said...

Fantastic once again!

Niamh B said...

Thanks Oub and Gerry :-)

Kat Mortensen said...

Ah, a lovely homage to romance!

You really are brilliant with these. I'm telling you, there's a book in it.

Kat

Niamh B said...

thanks kat - yep - I think I shall be lookin for a publisher if the compulsion to do them continues much further!