Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your duck billed platypus to Spar

Well, I couldn't let another wednesday go by without providing guidance for conscientious pet owners out there, who really need to know where not to bring their duck billed platypii, this is especially for Domestic Oubliette, who posed the question...

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your duck billed platypus to Spar

Don't bring your duck billed platypus to Spar

That trip, I'm afraid wouldn't get you too far,

With his unrealistic body, he's a freak not a star,

No, I wouldn't even attempt it

This flat footed friend has no need for a sambo

So there's no excuse for him to go in playing Rambo

Demanding nice biscuits, overpriced cans, No!

All your spare change, he'd have spent it

Sure remember the time that you took platypus

Over the one time to see 'toys R us'

and he said it was too bright, made such a fuss

Oh you wouldn't mind, only he meant it

So tell the platypus to shut his bill

It's not really that you'd wish him ill

But he might as well go waddle up the hill

No Spar for your duck billed platypus today


NanU said...

I'm lucky there; my duck-billed prefers EcoMarket. Though he was put off by the stuffed duckling keychains by the register last time, and now won't leave the house.

Domestic Oub said...

Genius :)

Niamh B said...

Can't say I blame him NanU

Thanks Oub, hope that answers your question

Gwei Mui said...

I always wanted a duck billed platypus for a pet when I was really small. Thank fully now that I'm fully growed I can have one and there aren't any Spar's near where live :)

Summer Ross said...

this was a fun poem to read. thank you for posting.

Niamh B said...

you're very welcome Summer, thanks for the comment - you'll find more over at http://poemstodissuade.blogspot.com if you're that ways inclined!

The Dead Acorn said...

A convenience store offering goods cheap and common
Like cola, and bread, and cases of Ramen
Oddities really have no place at Spar
An egg-laying mammal is just too bizarre.

Niamh B said...

Well said Acorn. I know I can always rely on you for a bit of moral support. :-)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Curtain rings or Breville snack and sandwich toastmakers.

Niamh B said...

As always, insightful and invaluable commentary TFE