A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hedgehog to the Euro shop
Don't bring your hedgehog to the Euro Shop
If I saw you going in, I'd call out "Stop!!!"
It's patently obvious, better use some of your cop
on and don't, with this plan, be persisting
Just think of the soap salts, the toys and the trinkets
Your spiny backed fella would surely just think it's
an excuse to see how many small things he could sink, it
would be the worst thing since a bee sting
No, Euro shops are no places for hedgehogs
they'd curl up in a ball amongst pale rubber frogs
would nest in the mops, would eat cheap christmas logs
better off, if you can, keep resisting
And if hedgehog Bernard, that jewel of the night
insists he should go, tell him he'll sooner acquire flight
cos he ain't getting near it, no way in this life
no Euro shop for your hedgehog today
24 comments:
So Niamh, why do you think you have had absolutely zero response to this wonderful poem?
Well, Anonymous, I'm glad you asked.
The reasons could be manifold
Firstly, wonder and awe at the brilliance of the work can often stun the reader into silence
Ah huh, very often, yeah... any other clue?
Well there's also the fact that hedgehog ownership has been declining of late, due to the "Hedgehogs will be free movement" particularly around the eurozone, which unfortunately for me, is where the target audience for my poem is located...
uh hmmmm, manifold you said... any others?
Well it's kind of like the first point, but another slightly different point is that perhaps people just feel there's no need to comment, since what i've said here is so obvious (now that I've pointed it out) and they don't think that their own agreement is going to add anything.
Riiiiihiiiight. So, you don't think people are getting bored of them?
Far from it, in fact I think they are finding them more and more exciting every week
and you're not going to stop?
No, I shall post faithfully every wednesday, these things need to be said, these animals cannot be allowed to be brought to any which way type of shop at the uninformed whim of their owners.
OK
Fine so
alright, glad we understand each other,
And by the way, did you think this flurry of comments would make this post seem all popular and pique everyone's interest and all?
cos it hasn't
evidently!
oh, get a room you two...
like the poem Niamh, however adore the conversation....that's a winner if ever I saw one!
I'm sorry! I was at work and went straight on to dinner out with husband and kids and then to an Open Mic! I feel like the schizophrenia is my fault!
Didn't Bernard used to be an ant?
Overhead valves.
Oub, anonymous started it!!
Thanks Gerry, like they say sometimes you gotto make your own fun.
Ah Titus, don't blame yourself!! I'm finding through doing these poems that Bernard is actually a very common pet name for many types of pets, so I thought I'd risk it there.
TFE... do you mean over heated? not that overhead doesn't make sense, but overheated makes a little bit more.
TFE I understand you perfectly
At last! Thank you anonymous.
Dear Niamh: Dave has talent along with his reluctant hedgehog. The poor thing would get sadly mistaken for a toy and then given to a lab; the rest of the story would be prickly! Great parlay!
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