Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hedgehog to the Euro Shop

Firstly, don't forget to relook at the bus if the inclination takes you, some new passengers still arriving.

And now for a public service announcement... It is a question that needed to be answered and meticulous research has resulted in the following answer.

With thanks to Dublin Dave for posing the question

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hedgehog to the Euro shop


Don't bring your hedgehog to the Euro Shop

If I saw you going in, I'd call out "Stop!!!"

It's patently obvious, better use some of your cop

on and don't, with this plan, be persisting


Just think of the soap salts, the toys and the trinkets

Your spiny backed fella would surely just think it's

an excuse to see how many small things he could sink, it

would be the worst thing since a bee sting


No, Euro shops are no places for hedgehogs

they'd curl up in a ball amongst pale rubber frogs

would nest in the mops, would eat cheap christmas logs

better off, if you can, keep resisting


And if hedgehog Bernard, that jewel of the night

insists he should go, tell him he'll sooner acquire flight

cos he ain't getting near it, no way in this life

no Euro shop for your hedgehog today

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

So Niamh, why do you think you have had absolutely zero response to this wonderful poem?

Niamh B said...

Well, Anonymous, I'm glad you asked.
The reasons could be manifold
Firstly, wonder and awe at the brilliance of the work can often stun the reader into silence

Anonymous said...

Ah huh, very often, yeah... any other clue?

Niamh B said...

Well there's also the fact that hedgehog ownership has been declining of late, due to the "Hedgehogs will be free movement" particularly around the eurozone, which unfortunately for me, is where the target audience for my poem is located...

Anonymous said...

uh hmmmm, manifold you said... any others?

Niamh B said...

Well it's kind of like the first point, but another slightly different point is that perhaps people just feel there's no need to comment, since what i've said here is so obvious (now that I've pointed it out) and they don't think that their own agreement is going to add anything.

Anonymous said...

Riiiiihiiiight. So, you don't think people are getting bored of them?

Niamh B said...

Far from it, in fact I think they are finding them more and more exciting every week

Anonymous said...

and you're not going to stop?

Niamh B said...

No, I shall post faithfully every wednesday, these things need to be said, these animals cannot be allowed to be brought to any which way type of shop at the uninformed whim of their owners.

Anonymous said...

ok

Niamh B said...

OK

Anonymous said...

Fine so

Niamh B said...

alright, glad we understand each other,

Anonymous said...

And by the way, did you think this flurry of comments would make this post seem all popular and pique everyone's interest and all?

Niamh B said...

Not really

Anonymous said...

cos it hasn't

Niamh B said...

evidently!

Domestic Oub said...

oh, get a room you two...

Gerry Snape said...

like the poem Niamh, however adore the conversation....that's a winner if ever I saw one!

Titus said...

I'm sorry! I was at work and went straight on to dinner out with husband and kids and then to an Open Mic! I feel like the schizophrenia is my fault!

Didn't Bernard used to be an ant?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Overhead valves.

Niamh B said...

Oub, anonymous started it!!
Thanks Gerry, like they say sometimes you gotto make your own fun.
Ah Titus, don't blame yourself!! I'm finding through doing these poems that Bernard is actually a very common pet name for many types of pets, so I thought I'd risk it there.
TFE... do you mean over heated? not that overhead doesn't make sense, but overheated makes a little bit more.

Anonymous said...

TFE I understand you perfectly

Totalfeckineejit said...

At last! Thank you anonymous.

chiccoreal said...

Dear Niamh: Dave has talent along with his reluctant hedgehog. The poor thing would get sadly mistaken for a toy and then given to a lab; the rest of the story would be prickly! Great parlay!