Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Sales blog

I'm not a great sales person, in reality - I'm kind of uncomfortable with taking money in exchange for goods and services (don't tell my boss). It dates back to one time when I got really competitive with the Barry's shop from across the road in my estate. It wasn't fair, all the houses were playing shop and they had a million comic books... and it just looked so much better than my pretend shop with nothing except a few mud pies and sea shells in it.

What did I do? What would you do? I went and got some "real" things to sell, creative sourcing I called it at the time, from inside my parents' "real" house... (theft they called it at the time) with an ensuing painful hunt to find and return everything to their rightful places after the sale of the century. I was only 6 or 7.

Anyway it is with some considerable discomfort that I must tell you that there is a poetry pamphlet now available - for sale - for the first time with more than one of my poems inside... and you can buy it... if you press this paypal button...

5 Euro including P&P








I'm not exactly sure how it works, but anyway - there ya go... - it's a home for a lonely fiver if you have such a thing.

Other homes for your fiver include

1. the Axis theatre in Ballymun - where you can catch Dermot Bolger tomorrow night talking to two writers about parental influence in their writing life - more details over on emerging writer....
2. almost half a ticket for the nighthawks - who got a great and very well deserved write up here. Since they managed to get me to perform there they've just been going from strength to strength - bless em.
3. entry to the next Lit Jam at CFCP - where you'll get to sit on bean bags all night, supping your own home made beer, if you remember to bring such a thing with you - otherwise drink the herbal tea, listen to some poetry, music, do a writing exercise with the group.
4. enter the raffle at Stephen James Smith's lovely Glór sessions every monday night.
5. enter the raffle at the fantastic monthly brown bread mixtape in the Stag's head
6. find another euro and you could go to Literary death match in the Sugar Club this Friday night - only if you book online.
7. get 500 penny sweets!!!! eat one per day for the next year and a bit... only will work with hard boiled types - apple drops perraps...
8. buy a toy for a dog that will have the toy half eaten - half artistically scattered around your house within half an hour, all with her creepy shiny x-ray type gazing eyes never leaving your own.
9. give it to charity

11 comments:

the watercats said...

ahh bugger!... my paypal is empatee at the mo.. but as soon as I get the kid's maintenance in there, I shall give it an ole click!.. I had a stall once and stood for five hours at the side of the road (the other one that leads to the mountain, other than the main tourist one). We put planks in the road so that when.. and if, any cars passed, they'd have to at least slow down. We managed to stop a van full of travellers who were on their way to a funeral... they brought a piece of wood I'd nailed two other peices of wood to in the shape of a cross.. two pounds I remember I got for it :-)... happy days!

Totalfeckineejit said...

I'll definitely be getting a copy.

Titus said...

One's already winging its way to me. I hope.
Best toy for our dog is a pair of ratty old socks knotted together. Can be shaken to death like a rat and no damage to animal or house. Very cheap too, and permits me to get rid of all the ones husband purchases and I don't like.
We find one pair will do a good three months before they become too smelly to live with anymore.

Niamh B said...

Hiya Wcats - no worries on the paypal. That sounds like a good sale on the cross, had ye known there was a funeral going to be passing? I sold painted stones one time as well - beautiful they were.
TFE - but of course, tis with the postal services.
Titus - I'd say yours must be well on the way too. Good tip on the socks front - we'll try that once she's fully destroyed all the pink curtains.

Lorenzo said...

You're right, you're not a great sales person. And, in my book, that is to your everlasting credit, Niamh.

All the same, I couldn't resist ... just placed my order. Good luck!

Niamh B said...

Aw thanks Lorenzo... hope you like...

The Dead Acorn said...

Can you ship to the U.S.? I'm not sure what the exchange rate is right now, as I rarely get out of the route between my house and the bar, but it's not like a billion dollars, right?

Niamh B said...

Mr Acorn, I believe we can ship most places, the pamphlet has been especially designed with such cutting edge technology as to make it extemely flimsy, I mean lightweight to put in the post.....
As for the exchange rate, haven't a clue, sorry bout that!

Titus said...

I got mine! It arrived in the post this morning.
I'll do the sales pitch for you.
Buy it! Now!

Lorenzo said...

Now, that's what I call a dogged sales pitch, Titus

Niamh B said...

Hey Titus - hope it met with your approval! :-)
Funny Lorenzo - you'll get yours soon enough... I mean that in a nice way (came out kinda threatening!)