Monday, September 28, 2009

More art inspired by the stupid broken car

At the risk of boring you, here’s a special effects poem on the theme of the same broken car – could be an expensive one to put on.

Without my car

Without my car, I can’t get very far
Can’t drive to the local spar
Or travel up the hill to admire the stars
Find it difficult to get to the bar
No last minute trips to Mullingar
Won’t get to see a travelling Tzar
Or use a multi-storey, how bizarre
No travelling with any more than one guitar
At a time, can’t go golfing, no matter what the par
Going more than 12 miles would surely leave a scar
Can’t even go to a special shop to buy cigars
The following lines are said without reading from the page
“But what’s this? (Car drives through wall into poetry reading venue)
It’s my car.
And look it has several doors ajar!”
(performer jumps into car and speeds off to rapturous applause)

As well as inspiring the above – my hazardous car adventure has resulted in the following documentary appearing on youtube, showing myself in Longford and the friendly locals helping me out. The guy in the checkshirt was the one with the recovery vehicle, and the guy in sunglasses by the brick wall is Mr VC of course.

And yes, I have WAYYYYY too much time on my hands.

Click here to see my cardumentary.

Of course I am played by an actress, as the real event would have been too harrowing to televise.


Dublin Dave said...

Wow - who would have believed Longford was so lively on a week night!

Niamh B said...

twas saturday night, but yeah, longford's got talent!

Domestic Oub said...

It may have been an actress, but she borrowed your own clothes?

Niamh B said...

Yes - the producers felt it would be most authentic if she wore clothes selected from my everyday wardrobe, and my trademark shiny lipgloss. Lucky she takes the same size as me!!

Domestic Oub said...

You wear them all better though...

Dominic Rivron said...


When you're used to living with a car
Life without it's pretty bizarre.

Niamh B said...

Tis true Oub, can't beat an original, and thanks Dominic. I wonder which would be the more expensive installation - your supermarket music or my special effects poem? I suppose it depends on the thickness of the wall!

Rachel Fox said...

I see leather is the theme of the week!
I hardly ever drive. It is a different world. Slower. Smaller.

Niamh B said...

Hi Rachel - yes leather all the way... not all that torn up about the car, just wanted to make the silly joke. Not having a car is far more sociable than having one... and I'd say a lot healthier too.

Lily Sheehan said...

I really liked the poem. I hate driving but I wouldnt feel lost without my car

Lily Sheehan said...

* I would feel lost rather. I love my little Peugeot that is called Maisy

Niamh B said...

Hi Lily, nice car name, never did that with mine, never wanted to get that attached - closest I came was calling the first car my "Biscuit tin".

Not having it is actually ok, getting lots of little lifts, stuck in most of the day on Sunday reading/ writing, the odd walk that wouldn't otherwise have happened, you'd be surprised how easily things work themselves out.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Cool video, Longford is just how I remembered it, but where was the chipper van?

Niamh B said...

Aww, they must've cut that bit out, where I went for the batter burger and chips, directors can be ruthless...

the watercats said...

I'm afraid I lasted only about twenty seconds of your cardumentary before my eyeballs melted and my brain became spongified, it then leaked out of my (by now) empty sockets onto the keyboard.. thus frying my computer.... I'm able to send this via my telepathic reading board and the spare laptop.. (don't tell apple, they'll nick my idea)
The poem was extra cool by the way.. I enjoyed it's eloquent rhyming... and the fact it had a guitar in it :-)

Niamh B said...

Sorry bout the computer watercats, yes it was tough watching - the documentary, but isn't that the point? They're not supposed to be some kind of chewing gummy entertainment. They are there to tell the TRUTH. And if you can't stand the TRUTH, get offa the know what i mean.
Tks re the poem... I've written better, but it got there.