The Quest for Fame

I mentioned that I was reading my poems at the Glór session part of the Festival of World Cultures there last weekend... and I have to say, I felt in advance that I would possibly look a little nerdy on the day when compared with the other rather cool acts that were on - Stephen James Smith: the one man poetry renaissance machine, Dublin Rapper James Costello, and San Francisco poet Raven. I did me best... but apparently was too dorky (and possibly looked too scared) to make the cut in terms of getting my "act" onto youtube... see everyone else who played up here... posted up by the vidya man, seriously do, they were brilliant... and at least you'll get a look at the stage I stood on.
It's not really that I crave fame, despite the post title. I have yet to ever appear on youtube, (that'll tell you how old I am) and the only Bagnell videos up there are still chiropractic and missouri dams and breech clinics - see here... - maybe I'm just not meant for moving pictures.

Anyway on Monday night we had our group orgy, I mean reading, in Lucan library, and I was the only one who dressed head to toe in Red...

I mean really, if there is a Dork of the year Award going for 2010, just deliver it now, same address as last year....

Alma Braydon on the Radio

This week sitting in the Sunday Scrapbook hotseat is the wonderful Alma Braydon.

Alma is a well-known Dublin poet and artist. She is a member of Dalkey Writers’ Workshop and has had poetry published in many anthologies and magazines. She has read her poetry on Abraxas Writers’ CD and DVD, and broadcast on East Coast Radio and Lyric FM (yes you can expect chilled out and beautiful music). She is just after publishing her first collection of Poetry titled "Prism" which has been brought out by 7 Towers Publishing.

Alma is joining me to discuss her pet theme of "Animals" *

When is it? Well I would be guessing it will be at the usual time, that being the 4 of the pm. (8am in San Fran)

Where is it? at a top secret location in the media hypercentre of Lucanland, or more specifically on 96.4fm, or listen live by following the liffeysound link on the right there.

Catching up on the Archive http://sundayscrapbook.blogspot.com... will as always be permitted, though I would have thought such with it, happening souls as make up the readership of this blog would want to hear it first, wouldn't be able to contain their excitement long enough to wait for the replay... which might take a few days to get up there depending...

*No animals will be hurt or slandered in the making of this radio show

Ticklish taste buds?

Recently I commented somewhere that I'd like if we could all eat dog biscuits, simple, full nutrition in a bowl, though it would get boring.

I'm starting to wonder if perhaps our complicated relationship with food is a way of us training ourselves/ working out our way of dealing with our complex relationships with each other.

Spending time with certain people is akin to eating a certain kind of diet... - it's good to vary your diet, same way it's good to spend time with different people, a wide variety of people if possible, the greater the variety the wider your understanding of life, I think.

Some people are nurturing and delicious, some are moreish, perhaps addictive, but can be empty calories, they can come cheap from a takeaway, the less work you have to put in the more attractive they might be to spend time with. They might come in bright packaging and be expert at marketing, but they can be ultimately fattening, encouraging laziness in your brain, bile in your gallstones...

Really good relationships take a bit of work, but you can grow to enjoy the cooking, savour it even, taking little nibbles as you go. There might be super good for you people out there, that take amazing nose pinching and strength of character to even begin to stomach, but they're such hard work that you'll probably never find out - who's the equivalent of brussel sprouts in your life?

Finding balance with people is every bit as complicated, messy, scientifically difficult and enjoyable as finding it with your food (if not even more), and in my view it might even be more important for your overall health.

The cleaning up afterwards is a whole nuther story.

This whole post probably owes a lot to Cilla Black and the old Blind date questions "If you were a dessert...." "If you were a fruit...." "If you were a dinner... which one would you be and why?"

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hedgehog to the Euro Shop

Firstly, don't forget to relook at the bus if the inclination takes you, some new passengers still arriving.

And now for a public service announcement... It is a question that needed to be answered and meticulous research has resulted in the following answer.

With thanks to Dublin Dave for posing the question

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your hedgehog to the Euro shop

Don't bring your hedgehog to the Euro Shop

If I saw you going in, I'd call out "Stop!!!"

It's patently obvious, better use some of your cop

on and don't, with this plan, be persisting

Just think of the soap salts, the toys and the trinkets

Your spiny backed fella would surely just think it's

an excuse to see how many small things he could sink, it

would be the worst thing since a bee sting

No, Euro shops are no places for hedgehogs

they'd curl up in a ball amongst pale rubber frogs

would nest in the mops, would eat cheap christmas logs

better off, if you can, keep resisting

And if hedgehog Bernard, that jewel of the night

insists he should go, tell him he'll sooner acquire flight

cos he ain't getting near it, no way in this life

no Euro shop for your hedgehog today

Breaking all the rules

Thanks to Peter G for posting up this list of poetry rules:

"Don't use large or unconventional fonts.
Think carefully if you intend to centralise your poem, as this might come across as unconsidered and ill thought out.
Photographs, hand drawn illustrations or clip art images tend to lower the tone of an entry.
Consider your use of italic and bold text. Poems written completely in italics or bold for no reason tend to read clumsily.
Keep the presentation of your poems as neutral and neat as possible.
For the most part it is suggested that you avoid epigraphs or footnotes explaining the poem - a poem should stand alone without these.
Abstract nouns in the title or first line of a poem can be off putting, they cannot be visualised and can make the poem difficult to grasp.
Pretentious asides or instructions that try to 'tell' the reader how the poem should be read should be avoided.
Coloured paper or other novel ways of presenting your poem will not benefit your entry. Judges much prefer to see something that is neatly and professionally presented.
When you think your poem is finished and perfectly polished, read through every line and word and think 'Do I really need you?'.
Try reading your entry aloud to yourself. This might help you pick up on any snags or rhythmic glitches. The judges may well read entries aloud to each other, so a poem that 'feels right' in the mouth will have a greater chance of success.
The judges are on the side of the poem. If the judges feel that the poet has misjudged the poem's tone or 'let in' too many lines then they will put the work aside."

It's been tough but I think I've broken them all here

The Fantastic Winning Poem

I scribble, queitly

Wanting to win

The competition

Sighing to myself

Meaningfully

(This next bit should be whispered)

And what if I’m not

Goooooood enough?

For who? For you?

It’s not me you’re judging,

It’s this poem

(Then back to normal volume)

Do I need you?

Do I really need you?

I do hope this feels alright in your mouth

Say it

In your mouth

(this was a clip art image of a cow)

Footnote: This poem is written and presented with the intent of breaking all the rules laid down by the judges in the UK Poetry competition, in an attempt to see if they were right. Please imagine on a bright yellow background as I failed to get that over.

The Bus Departs....... where's your ticket?

The weekly poetry bus already has four passengers aboard, and if you include the dog - who is driving this week's challenge and myself, that'll make 17 or so. So, let's get on the road, I'll just keep updating this page until the end of Monday and into Tuesday or whenever, if that's ok with everyone...

The challenge was to write anything with confusion of any kind as a jumping off point.... simple, no?

Here is the driver with a safety video which is specially designed to assure optimum confusion levels before we begin.

First up Jeanne is spinning in confusion here

and Chiccoreal is on the confusing bus here

Argent is on with the truth of Eden here

Also joining us, is Shilpa detailing the storm of confusion here

Gwei Mui is lost in a rain of confusion here

while Peter Goulding is caught in the certain in between over here

Dave King has posted up his elephant trunk related tale over here

Helen's joining us now with a haikutastic bus ticket here

Rachel Fox is on board, back from holidays with her special clickety ticket here

David Mohan is joining us now for his first poetry bus trip, a warm welcome for him on the confusion of wakening here.

The original driver and reason why we're all here Mr Fabulous Total Feckin Eejit is on the case, and insighting on the confusement of life here

And just onboard and examining words of wisdom it's Doctor FTSE - over here

Watercats have arrived just in time to unravel the mysteries of the universe here

A big hello and welcome to Jinksy, splashing out on, not one but two tickets for the bus this week, check em out - here and here

And now the Bug has landed with a fascinating gem washed up from the 80's here

Make way now for the Enchanted Oak, spreading a branch across the cycles of generations here

Titus has joined us now bearing hunger in her confusion here

Domestic Oubliette is hopping on now, map in hand, ready to navigate for the driver here

Here now with some sleepy visions is Erratic Thoughts - over here

P Nolan has joined us now with his confusing contour - check it here

Poetikat's exploration of dementia can be embarked on from here

Martin H, another new-comer to the bus has joined us with a memory of visiting time here, let's squish in and make him very welcome.

And now - Hilary, Blackbirds, Kites, Locusts and Foxes - it could only be Gerry Snape - another newcomer to the bus... and very welcome she is... over here

Finally Bill has arrived with a highly prophetable poem, just through here.

And my effort is as follows:

Taxed

I have a number, for social security

Should I call when I feel insecure -

to get advice from a social guardian angel?

My worth is estimated and hours of work endured

are skimmed off the top, hours worked for greater good

like it or not

There's ways to get these later hours back,

a hundred ways to split the cracks and let

your jingling pocket sing with change

you can rearrange yourself and trick the System into thinking that

you're single, that you've given all to precious kids, but honey,

don't for god's sake tell them!

Make claims, take heart, declare yourself unable

while brown envelopes are fingered under tables and you squirm

with moistened cute hoor glee

and me? My eyes glaze over when I try to

think of taxes, the summer days seem

too important to shorten

with all the gleaming ways

of being smart with money

Karl Parkinson on the Radio

Well, this weekend, on Sunday to be precise, at 4pm (11pm in Beijing) to be preciser, I will be joined by the very fantastic Karl Parkinson on the Sunday Scrapbook confessional couch.

Karl has had Poems published in Baby Beef Heart zine, Revival poetry journal and Census the 2nd Seven Towers anthology. He won the award for most entertaining video for Dublin 2009 at the Balcony TV awards. He has performed at Glor, Tongue box, night Hawks, brown bread mix tape, naked lunch, exchange words and many more and is one of four poets to appear on the Naked and Hungry spoken word C.D. He recently organised and performed at his own event in the CFCP called Shooting from the lip.
Influences include: The Beat generation, Bukowski, Selby jr, Rimbaud, Blake, Henery Miller, Mikey Pinero, Saul williams, Celine, kafka, joy division, Diego Maradona, Bruce Lee, Shakespeare, Joyce, The Romantics, Whitman, Yeats, Plath, Dave Lordin, Dylan Thomas, Bob Dylan and Led Zep, Muhammed Ali,The Doors, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Lorca, orwell, Huxley, Melville, The stone roses, The Verve, James Brown, Mozart, Jazz, Blues, Dali, Carravggio, Van Gogh, Kahlo, Plato, The sky, Trees, Air, Water, Fire, you, everything...

The Herald recently mentioned how he can make time stand still with his poetry, which is going to play havoc with the show scheduling, but sure we like a challenge... Check him out here if you think you're hard enough.
His theme for the show is "Drugs: Addiction and Inspiration"

Listen live on the Liffey Sound link on the right there, or sure catch up on http://sundayscrapbook.blogspot.com soon after

And if you don't do that, at least do this

Dark, f, 2 WLTM....

are you good at picking up squishy items in plastic bags? do you simply adore leaving the house, walking for up any length of time up to an hour only to arrive back at exactly the same house? would you enjoy throwing oddly shaped rubber objects for me to run after and then lose interest in half way to finding them so that you have to pick them up yourself? like the sound of trying to somehow prevent me from rubbing my entire body head to toe in the smelliest thing I can find in the local park? perhaps you have an item of cloth that needs to be fashionably distressed with the authentic application of teeth, hair and muck that only a half terrior can manage really well?

She's trying the more direct approach, and who could blame her after the tumbleweed that ensued from last week's heartfelt appeal... Leave a comment if you would bring this lovely creature on a W.A.L.K. (can't say the word straight cos she'll only recognise it)




In other news - I will be reading poems out at the Dun Laoghaire Festival of World Cultures on the Glór stage - Royal Marine hotel garden stage at 12.30. Hope to see you there.... further details here

Don't forget this week's poetry bus prompt, it's here if you missed it...

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Badger to Abrakedabra

Ah yes, an extremely busy week here in various cushions land, we are multitasking, driving the bus with one hand (instructions on the previous post), and writing poems to dispense advice to people who might otherwise be tempted to bring various life forms to various places of commerce...

This week Matt Bolton of Matt Bolton's World View fame has asked whether there is anywhere he should not bring his pet badger.

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Badger to Abrakedabra

Don’t bring your badger to abrakedabra

I don't care how much the idea grabs ya

Or how many bottles of beer you've had, yeah

It still would certainly not be brillo

He wouldn't sit quietly, he's simply not able

He'd be looking for "setts" under the table

Would spill all his chips, would be worse than a sable

no it wouldn't be wind in the willows

And someone would surely bring up trichinosis

Or mention that he has the worst halitosis

He'd grip them with a tenacious grip, oh no, Sis

Better leave him below with his pillows

For Abrakedabra's no place for a badger

The jedward signs would make him madder

than normal, a kebab he would try to cadger

No abrakedra for your badger today

(the variety in font size is for purely poetical reasons, not that blogger won't co-operate, I'm practically a professional you know)

Back in the Driver's Seat!!

Ok, I promise, it won't be as traumatic as the last time I got behind the wheel, you can put the sick bags away...

However, you will find that some seats are facing backwards, the steering wheel is on the ceiling and the radio only plays the Sunday Scrapbook because this week's challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to write a poem about Confusion.

Aldous Huxley got a whole book out of the Doors of Perception being opened... think about a time you face or faced something completely confusing and unknown to you, something you just can't get your head around. You can simply have this as the jumping off point or use the writing of this poem as a means of opening a door into it - take anything you can't understand at all...
the cruelty of the world, chinese writing, Bagnell's 4th theorum of subatomic deliverance, how anyone could accidentally leave their money at an ATM machine -whatever it may be... research it, dig in deep, maybe find out something more about it, even if it's only something about your own reaction to it...
(and sometimes getting answers to questions only leads to way more questions, well that's ok, if we're to make our millions as poets we'll need lots of questions for answering... go forth, explore, find something you don't get and go get it!!!)

Enjoy... and remember - anything less than an unravelling of the deep and wonderful mysteries of the universe will still get you on the bus, anything at all will get you on the bus in fact, you're among friends, as always - just let me know when you have your ticket bought and I'll link from this Sunday - good luck!

Some early passengers have already climbed aboard

See Jeanne spinning in confusion here

and Chiccoreal is on the confusing bus here

Argent is on with the truth of Eden here

Things to do on Mondays

Next Monday evening you can catch Lucan Writers, (myself included) hosting a very special evening on the theme of the colour Red, pieces of art and poetry to go with them will be displayed and the writers will be there in the flesh, doin their thang, you can even touch them if you dare*... Refreshments will be served. So get ye to Lucan Library at 6.30 pm, next Monday evening for that.

and/ or

Hop on the Poetry bus - all are welcome - you can find out from TFE who his appointed driver is each week and get yourself on, it's a friendly community of inspiring lovely people who always come up with a great variety of poems between em all to cheer your day - there's a magazine coming out of it too, which will be printing any day now - details here. I'm driving next week so tune in tomorrow for your ticket!!!

and/ or

Watch the fabulous Glór sessions live on the interweb, every monday night coming at you straight from the bowels of the city, you can see Dublin's finest jewels of poetical and musical talent.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/stephenjsmith

The line up is always eclectic and interesting, sure give it an aul go... 8.30 pm Irish time - tonights line up is

Poets:
Paul Hendricks
Sarah Maria Griff
Eddie Keegan

Musicians:
The Lazy Band: http://www.myspace.com/thelazyband
Vicker Vimy: http://www.myspace.com/vickersvimy
Alan Caufield captain bringdown: http://www.myspace.com/bringdown
Andy Lea
Kevin Fitzpatrick
Steve Flynn







* no lucan writers have been consulted on this wild promise**, touching them in fact may lead to a "scene" and/or prosecution and/or death.


** wild promises on this blog in general should be ignored, ie not taken seriously, ie not really completely ignored - since that would defeat the purpose*** of me making them

*** that purpose being your joy and endless entertainment

Poetry Bus - Argent at the wheel

So Argent gave us a choice of two fantastic premium and yummy tickets for the bus as follows:

A: Excursion to the Comedy Store
Now we all know comedy is not easy to do, but I know from past experience that there are some seriously (sic!) funny people out there. Dust off your tickling sticks, put that water-squirting flower in your lapel, strap on your handshake buzzer and let's make with the funny!

B: Tunnel of (unrequited) Love
We had the slushy Valentine's stuff earlier this year, but it's not always easy to love and not be loved in return. What's it like when that certain special somebody doesn't even know you exist (it's called stalking - Ed). Are they with someone else? Are you jealous? Come and share the bittersweetness with your bus-travelling friends.

You'll find her blog with the rest of the bussers at some stage here....

I went for option B with a little dash of A

Oran Ryan on the Radio

This weekend I have the lovely Oran Ryan as my guest on the Sunday Scrapbook.

A former member of the Order of Friars Minor, Oran Ryan is a novelist, poet, playwright and screen writer from Dublin. He has been writing full-time for 10 years during which time he has completed a number of novels, of which The Death of Finn was the first to be published, followed by Ten Short Novels by Arthur Kruger. Educated at Synge Street Christian Brothers School, as well as Carlow, Milltown Institute and UCD, he was awarded an Arts Council Bursary in 2008. He is presently completing a novel called One-Inch Punch. Oran's theme for the show is "Writing as a delivery of the Human Experience"
Why not join us at 4pm on Sunday? (6pm in Oulu) Sure what else would ya be doing? Link there on the right, and there'll be a posting up in the archive http://sundayscrapbook.blogspot.com for all you lazy slow coach catcher uppers. (you know who you are)

Happy St Swithin

I don't know much about St Swithin, but today is their day, and it apparently means that whatever the weather was like today, it will continue to be like that for the next 40... that's not terrible news - today's weather was very variable. So it'll be very variable. So nothing new then......................... If this was a conversation instead of a blog we'd be looking into the middle distance awkwardly right now, and you might eventually check your watch and say,

"Well Niamh, great talking again, eh... I'd best be.. eh"

So to save you that - here is actually what I intended to post today:

A personal ad - for my dog. Mr VC is about to abandon me for another few weeks of gaelic immersion as part of a course he's doing right now, so I am to mind the wonderful dog all on my own... Now I love my dog, and I am not a person to shirk my responsibilities, but - I am a generous soul, and I want to share the love. (In other words this dog needs minimum 2 decent walks per day to stop her chewing on the furniture and I am not sufficiently fit to be an astronaut as yet so am a little worried about how I'll keep up). Therefore - see the following personal...

Available, for fun and friendship. Could you be my walking partner? I am tall, dark, with luscious brown eyes and a playful disposition. Seeking anyone who likes long walks. Must have strong arms. Leave comments if you can spare a few hours to love a poor dumb animal.

See video for more

(the dog - at her most alluring, catch that end of shot stare)

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Flamingo to Land of Leather

Here's another one of those weekly wise pieces of advice for naive pet owners who might otherwise make a terrible mistake.


A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Flamingo to Land of Leather

Don’t bring your flamingo to land of leather
I don’t care how she flaps and flutters pink feathers
You should close the door, blame it on the weather
For anything else would be foolish

She’d only go crazy on the sofa start nesting
Go mental on beds, when she says she was resting
on one leg, there'd be no trip so testing
You should listen to me as a rule-ish

Yes Land of Leather's not for your Flamingo,
She'd have better luck with a half house in bingo
or admiring posters of george, paul or ringo
so please don't take the risk, don’t be mulish

Just tell your flamingo she’ll have to flock off
She’d be better off roosting, she’d better clock off
She’d only end up with a fake leather knock off
No Land of Leather for your flamingo today

Two (and some more) Questions relating to Toothpaste

How do they line up the red and blue and white stuff to come out evenly, even in the squeezy type tubes?

On the solid type tubes, where does the tube get the energy to squeeze the toothpaste out?

(why those colours?)

Could you live on Toothpaste if you ever found yourself stuck in a toothpaste shop in an earthquake? and for how long would you live on it before it poisoned you?

If mint is supposed to be so good with lamb, why don't they sell toothpaste in butchers shops?

Poetry Bus - Dominic's Challenge

So this week our mission was to write a poem on something, literally.

Here's my offering, written on the underneath of a desk

And in case you can't decipher my scribble, I give you...

Drooping at Work on a Quiet Evening

Whose desk this is, I think I know,
he's currently at a meeting though
he will not see me sitting here
to make the evening pass less slow

the bubble wrap half bursted, mere
blisters of joy made dissappear
a scatter of notes, a dusty flake
the boringest work day of the year

I survey it - think what'll I take
Or is there something I can break
Anything to speed up the creep
of passing time, and office ache

I peel veneer on his desk cheap
and rifle through the drawers deep
and feel like I could fall asleep
and feel like I could fall asleep

Quincy Lehr on the Radio

This week I have the fantabulous Quincy Lehr as my guest on the Sunday Scrapbook, he is taking on the theme of "Exile and Return"

Quincy R. Lehr's first book, Across the Grid of Streets, appeared in 2008, and his second book, Obscure Classics of English Progressive Rock, will appear in 2011. Lehr's poetry has appeared in numerous journals in the U.S., UK, Ireland, and Australia, and he is the associate editor of the Raintown Review. He co-curates the long-running Carmine St. Metrics reading in New York and co-founded Modern Metrics Press in 2006. He lives in Brooklyn.

Quincy will be reading the longest poem we've ever had on the show, among other delights, and if you're free you can hear us chatting then. Some frequently asked questions, or FAQs: (if you're feeling thusly inclined)

When? 4pm on Sunday, as always, (that's 11am in New York, and 4pm in Cork)

Where? over on Liffey Sound as always - link on the right there.

Why? because we feel like it.

What if I miss it? Catch up on the show blog http://sundayscrapbook.blogspot.com as always..

Bad Things

Up front I have to admit that I very much liked the film "Very Bad Things" but bad things in general in real life... I tend not to like them so much. One man's bad thing is another man's good though, so the taxi driver on liveline yesterday made me laugh out loud when he complained that things are so bad money wise (and things really did sound desperate with having to go the winter without heating as well) that he's had to cancel his sky box (for those on the other side of the world this'd be a tv subscription service), and it wasn't even the good sky package it was a basic one.
I thought that was pretty funny. Maybe it's a bit mean and un-understanding of me just cos I'm not into it, to not sympathise much with a guy who could no longer provide 500 TV channels for his family, in fact I'm sure it actually is mean...
What didn't make me laugh was the sad kind of way the holiday cover presenter tried to drag out the story of another taxi driver's gruesome suicide, unsuccessfully trying to fish the gorey details* from his interviewee and eventually supplying them himself.
In other news, the recession is over, the world is growing by 4.5 % (which is a bit worrying unless we make sure we grow away from the sun, or maybe around it equidistantly in a flexible donut type shape so we can maintain our climatic balance.)

*Incidentally, I used to live in Gorey which led to many's the happy hour of jests, jokes and japes about Gorey details, but here's a real and actual gorey detail for you, the library there is tiny, and the librarians gossip in loud whispers while you root through the large print cowboy story books, or at least they did once about 6 years ago.

Flollerbollers and a Danish World Tour

Had a lovely adventure going on holidays en masse to witness the nuptuals of two of among the nicest people I know in the world. They had a Danish/ Irish fusion wedding - with lots of interesting traditions which I'll tell you about in brief:
at the toasts, the happy couple had several feats to perform including kissing, then standing up on chairs while kissing, then climbing under the table while kissing etc etc... there was a slide show of the stag night... all the men in the room lined up to kiss the bride when the groom left the room and vice versa... then after the first dance the groom got his sock toes cut off, apparently to stop him from running away...
Anyway, if that wasn't good enough we had a lovely family holiday as well with lots of sunny memories being built and a healthy dose of Flollerbollers along the way... (Flollerbollers are the real reason I went to Denmark, they're like the heroin of smushy sweet white cakes covered in chocolate - unforgettable, unputdownable, ungettable anywhere apart from Daneland) I also performed the special effects poem at the 5am of the after wedding party... somehow remembering the words.
That's the craic, we're back now with the dogster after her holiday up the mountains, she seems happy enough to have us home as well.

Some good ideas

Just finishing the mad adventure now, back in Eire later tonight... (I'm currently in a place with exciting things on the keyboard like ø and æ so I'll keep this short!!) just a few thoughts to run by ye while I'm on my way

Wouldn't it be better to have a 3 team football final with three goal posts and a triangular shaped pitch? (This one's a Mr VC inspiration- and might possibly have appeared on this blog ages ago)

Also you could have 3 or 4 balls, but each team could only use 2 at a time, so would have a limited time to get rid of whichever one they wanted least, strategically speaking. It would be impossible to referee so would have to be based on friendship and honour.

Why shouldn't Facebook allow you to make enemies, then you could keep them closer than your friends? You could enemy your friends enemies too for the craic if you wanted, or friend them, if you're feelin controversial....

I'll leave em there, exhausted as I am by the exertion... later dudes

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Giraffe to Black Tie

So - although I'm not back from the mad adventure yet, another poem which attempts to dissuade you, in a world of reckless abandonment and permissiveness, please don't...

I'll be back tonight really in real life if all goes to plan!

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Giraffe to Black Tie

Don't bring your Giraffe into Black Tie,
the staff would heave a massive sigh,
when they measure and find the neck doesn't comply,
with normal physiological laws

Yes this oversized, gentle ruminant,
has no business looking at pinstriped pants,
and suits with bowties, he simply can't
carry off that look, better pause

I don't care if he gives a response flehmen,
when eyeing the cufflinks, don't forget he's no shamen,
knows no more about clothes, than the average layman,
watch out for his galloping jaws

If you bring him there he'll only start necking,
he'll lick at the cufflinks, you'd have to keep checking
for damaged cravats, he's better off trekking,
no Black Tie for your Giraffe today.

Weaver's Bus

This week TFE's bus is driven by the lovely Weaver of Grass. Her instructions for the trip can be found here.

This one is one written about a person's walk, seen on the way to work, I ended up interspersing with other random bits of chat from the same day, hopefully it's not too awful... I'll try it on ye anyway! That's the joy of the bus!

Noel King on the Radio

This weekend it's the fabulous Noel King taking to the Sunday Scrapbook hotseat.

Noel is a writer, actor and musician, native of Tralee, Co. Kerry.

His work has appeared in publications in over thirty countries, in journals

as diverse as Poetry Ireland Review, The Sunday Tribune, Bongos of the

World (Japan), The Dalhousie University Review (Canada), Kotaz (South

Africa), Poetry Salzburg Review (Austria) and Polestar (Australia). Along

the way he has been a singer with the famous Bunratty Castle Entertainers

and has worked as an arts administrator. He edits Doghouse Books, a poetry

imprint, with 30 titles published since 2004. The title of his first

collection which has just recently come out is "Prophesying the Past" and that is also the very interesting theme which he has chosen to base his show around.

Join us then 4pm (5pm in Denmark) this Sunday on Liffey Sound - link on the right there, or see ye sometime later on the archive blog for a catch up - http://sundayscrapbook.blogspot.com