Sunday, February 7, 2010

HELP!!!!

I need a bank of CCTV cameras to keep up with the wanderings of the beast. She's tried to climb up the chimney, rearrange and/or eat the furniture, eat and/or lick the goldfish, eat all our clothes, books (especially books of maps for some reason), detile the kitchen by eating the grouting from between the tiles, chew through electric leads. She's a one dog mischief machine, and will actually only leave me alone if I'm at the computer or doing dishes. And now I've run out of dishes to do, so here I am. She's been carrying muck from the flowerpot to new and exciting locations on the kitchen floor, playing with the curtains, digging in her bed, chewing on the skirting boards in the time it's taken me to write this... No one said it'd be easy. We start obedience school on Tuesday - I hope they have an injection or something that'll just make her good - failing that, I would settle for a tranquiliser dart!
Ah well.

15 comments:

Rachel Fox said...

Have you heard of the Dog Whisperer? Really.
x

Dominic Rivron said...

The joys of having a dog. We have cats instead. Three.

Today, I was clearing out the attic. I suddenly realised one of the cats was next to me. He'd climbed a near-verical aluminium ladder with the top two rungs missing and jumped up through the hatch. Wow!

Niamh B said...

Rachel - I believe he's coming to Dubland for a concert soon, as I say we start "school" tomorrow night, so hopefully she'll be a quick learner.
Dominic - and you don't have to walk cats, and they don't bark, ach sure I know, I know... Impressive cat you have tho!

the watercats said...

it's all settling in behaviour.. buy many, many chewy toys (non squeeky ones)and give them to her to replace something she shouldn't be chewing.. and be consistant with saying no. always eat something in front of her before you feed her, don't feed her when you're eating, ignore her when you come in from somewhere and when she is demanding your attention... don't let her in your seat/on your bed etc....
one week.. an improvement.. honest!.. :-)

Niamh B said...

Thanks Watercats, sounds like you know what you're talking about, - on the food my theory was feed her first, then she can't be hungry when you're eating? so that's a big no no is it?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yip they're pack animals, so as leader of the pack(vroom,vroom)you eat first and go through doors first.Show them who's boss and if that doesn't work there is always taxidermy.You still have a dog, it looks great, will never age, doesn't bark, doesn't eat or pish or shite.And if you still want to walk it, put it on wheels.Hell, you could even shove a remote control unit up its arse and get it to do tricks!

Niamh B said...

So tempting TFE, I should do it now while her coat is all young and shiny shouldn't I?

Maura said...

WOW, you got a dog, COOL!

Niamh B said...

We did, unfortunately she's a little bit insane, but hopefully she'll be alright when she grows up...!

Totalfeckineejit said...

That's what my parents used to say about me. (except for the 'she' bit)

Titus said...

I'm with the watercats. Remember you are the head Wolf. And stay consistent in those "Nos", no matter how cute the mischievous behaviour is.

Niamh B said...

And it all turned out ok with you TFE... right? ... Right?
Thanks Titus, it is hard to stop yourself laughing sometimes at it, the skirting chewing/ climbing up the chimney were particularly entertaining.
School starts tonight, she should settle soon - she's getting gradually marginally better behaved every night...

The Dead Acorn said...

When I picked up my hell-hound from the shelter about 5 years ago, she jumped out of the car on the way home, and it's gone downhill ever since. She has the edge on wits, but I have thumbs, so mostly it's a draw. It's a bit unnerving when I wake up in the middle of the night with her standing over me, just staring and drooling hungrily.

Best of luck to both you and the fish.

Domestic Oub said...

How was doggie school?

Niamh B said...

Thanks Dead Acorn, Thumbs... Yes, I can type faster, that's for sure. Luckily I rarely wake up in the middle of the night, and she's black - so I probably won't see her standing there, so that'll be alright.
Oub - school was alright - full report tonight, but I'm not going to boast about the fact that my dog was the only one who knew how to sit at the start of the class - perhaps because she had forgotten how to do it by the end - with all the excitement.