What goes where

I must warn you that I hold (well I don't hold it all the time, in fact, can't recall exactly where it is this minute, but you catch my drift) an honours degree in biochemistry, during part of which I studied metabolism, metamorphosis, the krebs cycle, lots of other types of bikes and many of the myths and mysteries of the body (and possibly developed my slight distaste for all things factual), so some of the following might be a bit technical for you to digest... but I will try to explain.

I have been thinking about this growing new people business, and realising that the acrobat with the hilarious sense of humour and timing who is responsible for the jellyish actions of my belly (and merciless prodding of my kidney) in recent days has been constructed from a putting together of all the things I've been eating over the past nine months. So, what has gone where?

Well - it's obvious that tortilla chips are used to fashion the inner curve of the nostrils, apple drops most likely make the eyes, and marshmallows are used for that smoothness found in baby skin. Hot cross buns are needed for the rib cage as well as the buns, brocolli gives the brain it's texture, toast, I need hardly tell you, goes towards the toes. Bananas are found useful in making the forehead. Islets of Langerhorns require anything from Cork, be it Barry's tea or anything else grown locally. Oranges and strawberrys are mixed to make the pink for the lips. And crustaceans are recommended to be avoided during this time as they will encourage shelfishness, not good when you're hoping for a decent old folks home. I have, of course, been careful to eat plenty of meringue to give the child the best possible bone structure, as well as loads of sausages which are re-used in making enough intestines to stretch around the moon three times, (not sure that this will ever be an applicable skill, but good to know the potential will be there)

Is there anything crucial that I'm missing from my diet that I need to ensure and get in there to put towards the newly designed person - while there's still time? Feel free to advise...