I went for the Archer fish, at Titus' suggestion - though I didn't manage another of my poems to dissuade on it, I found the creature very interesting having done a little research.
See here for a visual on this impressive hunter.
Then go here for more Animal poems
Then read on for my attempt
.
Marksman
Hard shelled dark crawlers
Spied from depths
A hunter gazing unseen
at all the scrabbling life
Unlikely victims firm in every foot
A silver spear of underworld
Is aimed to hit home hard
Knock off a lurching walk
Invertebrate, confused, inverted now
falls into smoothened mirrors
and gobbled quick by sulky looking silk
a greedy jaw stuck out in gluttony
The flashing fish performs
this trick and leaves
one more breath squeezed out
of air’s domain
19 comments:
Gripping. Great, scary vocabulary and images. Thanks
The little bastard!
'Falls into smoothened mirrors'and 'a silver spear of underworld'
Mucho neato!
One terrifying fish! Sharks won't frighten me from now on ....
Ooh, that's a class effort Niamh. Stunning word choice, a succession of great images and narrative too.
Which is just what EW said...
Loved it, rate it, can I have it?
Its kind of the opposite of fishing, isn't it?
Agree with TFE - one little bastard.
I think these fish are EXTRA clever - I'm fascinated by them. And your poem tells their story quite well :)
Nasty little piece of work alright, nifty poem though!
Great bloody poem!
"Invertebrate, confused, inverted now" fantastic! The last verse? Class!
Thanks EW, TFE, he is isn't he?
Helen, glad to have got you over the fear of sharks.
Tks Titus, I'd be delighted :-)
Peter when you put it like that I guess it's kind of fair enough?! you're making me question everything.
Tks Bug - they're an interesting discovery alright!
Tk you socks and Oub - very kind :-)
Don't mess with the archerfish. She knows more about ballistics, gravity, water pressure and the refractive index of water than we do . . . and she never went to school!
I'm with TFE on the smoothened mirrors line. Nicely sinister with idea of the fish claiming something from the air-breathing world.
A different kind of fishy story...
Some amazing video-clips of the little B on YouTube.
Attempt? Attempt? Pshaw!
Sheer brilliance with its inversion of invertebrate and inverted, and other gems.
Love the "underworld" line.
Kat
FTSE - I heard they go to school a bit though...
Tks Argent, very kind!
Tis fishy alright Jinksy.
Lucy - I'm going to ignore you, as I'm fairly sure you're some kind of spammer. If I'm wrong feel free to let me know.
Thanks Kat, you're very kind :-)
Gluttony indeed! great poem, Niamh
Thanks NanU!
How brave of you to get within striking distance of the archer fish! Striking verse!
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