Friday, April 22, 2011

Time Saving Tips for Busy Livers



1. Sleep on your side, your left hand side if you have one. Do not turn during the night. This will ensure that the attractive phenomenon of sleep drool will only happen in one direction - therefore leaving you with just one side of your face to rinse off before you appear before your public. It will also incidentally help with your liver function, and reduce the chances of heartburn weirdly - since we're all asymmetric, and the way all the tubes line up sleeping on your left helps you avoid fluid retention etc etc as well - the things you learn.
2. Leave curtains open all the time.
3. Shower in your underwear, then run to get dry - this also helps build up fitness levels and tolerance to embarrassment. (also known as embarrassment tolerance)
4. Memorize the contents of your GPS system - this will save you having to charge it up and plug it in.
5. Keep big wads of cash sellotaped all over your body - this will help you avoid tiresome queues at ATMs, help you bribe your way to the top of the nightclub and chipper queue and will speed up all sorts of transactions in theory.
6. Only read the most helpful blogs and never comment on them.

10 comments:

The Bug said...

You are hilarious. I'm not sure I have a left side anymore - or at least I can't really sleep on it very well at present.

I am NOT running around in my underwear until summer - it's just too cold around here!

Elisabeth said...

Well I fail in all of these except for the lying on my side and reading only fabulous blogs, but I often comment on them.

Fantastic post, Niamh one that were I doing as instructed i should not comment on, but I couldn't resist besides it needs opne. It's too good not to remark on this sage advice.

the watercats said...

When I saw the title of this post I presumed it was literally, for livers.. drink lots of leon juice for it's purifying qualities, that sort of thing.. round here we have a distinct lack of busy living and a very real threat of busy livering!

the watercats said...

*lemon juice

Totalfeckineejit said...

Great advice. I always keep a spare hour in the sock drawer for emergencies.

Niamh B said...

Ok Bug, ignore my advice - that's probably a good general rule of thumb to be honest!!
Thanks Elisabeth, very kind, and tks for the comment, reverse psychology!
Cats - leon juice sounds a bit weird alright, but interesting. I did mention the side sleeping is good for the liver apparently, I'm not a doctor mind.
TFE - that would be handy for extending the afternoon if you ever needed to.

maura_mannion said...

heehee! LEft side think really works for heartburn. The minute I tried to sleep on my right the acid started to creep up

Niamh B said...

Hah Maura - as I said - the things you learn...!! Completing a mini doctorate in the pros and cons of all known brands of "Travel Systems" at the moment as well...

Jessica said...

The only one I really do is #6, although I'm breaking the rule right now . . .

Niamh B said...

ha, glad you enjoyed em jessica