This week Uisce's driving the bus, and has given us the job of heading out, at least a mile out, into the big bad world, find somewhere that you haven't been before and write about it.
Energy levels being what they are right now, I had to settle for the local tyre garage, who spell the word "Tyre" - "Tire" on their online ad. I should've known I wouldn't like em. (For poetry's sake of course I have over-dramatised and hyped the moment to the last)
People who've actually found somewhere really new and exciting to write from will be found over at Uisce's blog here.
Tires
What price did you give her?
I hear them discuss
Low man voices they
think I can’t make out
I sit beside a man
Who’ll be charged less
on a fake black leather
couch from someone’s house
The grease man has triumphant cheeks
Tells me the third tyre’s bald
and maybe I should walk
but I’m used to being a sucker
Too weak to fight it further
so I shrug and let him sell me
what he wants
His loss, I think
We could be friends
Maybe we’d have laughed
together at tree frogs in the rain, or jumped
in skipping competitions, or spread
sincere perfection through someone
else’s sorry life
Too late
I press in pin numbers
He offers a tiny cardboard yellow tree
And I leave
19 comments:
That's a great poem Nibby!I love this bit..
'His loss, I think We could be friends Maybe we’d have laughed together at tree frogs in the rain, or jumped in skipping competitions,'
The thinking-out-of-the-boxness of it, or maybe that's just my box!
Yeah, great one! At least you got to the tire shop, I went to the bloody moon when I wasn't supposed to!!
I couldn't believe the coincidence ... I purchased two new front tires a few days ago. My 'tyre' place is one of the best in the country ~ I've experienced many. Love your bus entry.
Thank you Mr FE, As I say - hyped and dramatised to the max with more than a squeeze of bukowski bitter lemon left in there too... They really weren't that bad at all!
Thanks Socks, was the moon on the "Do not go there" list? I'm just delighted I managed not to rhyme.
Helen, as I say above, actually this place wasn't too bad, I just always feel a bit ripped off in any of these car type places, but the price was actually a helluva lot more reasonable than Dubland! (sorry dubbers!)
My poem was car-centric too! It must have been that giant moon or something... I was pretty sad about my situation, but it does sound as if you got your tires & left without too much trouble :)
Spreading sincere perfection through someone's sorry life sounds like a plan to me... Let's go find a tree frog...
car guys are just too full of themselves sometimes. seeing what they can get away with is their sport.
Great poem!
"we'd have laughed together at tree frogs in the rain" ... powerful imagery.
So you went in weak and left even more tyred? Hmm.
Thanks Bug, yours sounds like alot more of an ordeal alright.
Thanks Jinksy! No tree frogs around here right now, but we'll keep an eye out!
NanU - don't make me more paranoid! Am sure they're decent deep down, deep deep down.
Acorn - I detect serious sarcasm there in your praise of my powerful imagery! But I frogive you based on your later question.
No sarcasm! That whole verse was really nice (as was the whole poem).
We do have this insane desire to connect, don't we? My pome this week had an element of that in it too. I love "triumphant cheeks" - wondering what they'd look like. This strikes a chord with me.
Ooh, I really liked this and it's not light at all. The tree-frog section lifts it real high. Some great touches - the triumphant cheeks, the cardboard tree. Truly nice one!
totally missed "frogive." Someone toad me about it later, thank goodness. (Okay, that's it for me.)
We do Argent, though the desire is definitely stretched for dramatic effect here! thanks,
Thanks Titus, have looked at the air freshener since and it's not even tree shaped, I think it's meant to look like a tire, talk about lame!!
That was a tad(pole) unobservant of you Acorn. Ok really ribb(it)ing it now.
I'm a little concerned that you thought a tyre looked like a tree.
More sleep, woman!
It was a distinctly oval tyre though, almost like a shrub type shape. lol
Titus more sleep is a big part of the current plan!!
Your poem became a fanciful drawing that moved as you danced with the tyreman. It was a colorful poem with wonderful misshapen objects - just like the lies those auto part salesman thing they can tell women.
I really like that you contrast the real with the imagined relationship. Unfortunately, I never know when they show me a supposedly dirty air filter whether or not it needs to be changed, so I do the same thing...let them sell.
Thanks Muse and Karen!
The car still failed its NCT last night, and in true brotherhood of men fashion, the mechanic who failed me explained that the pre NCT service I had got done was perfectly good and the garage couldn't have spotted the glitch.
And they wonder why women sometimes find it hard to trust men!!!
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