Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Panda to the Creche

Lest you'd think I can't do serious, here's a very serious message. I hope you pay close attention - it might be the last animal in a place of business poem that I can manage for a while, but I'm glad to be bringing something so vitally important to you...

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A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Panda to the Creche
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Don't bring your Panda to the Creche
You know he'd only be getting fresh
with the teddies and toys, he's such a letch
Not a patch on that old gent Baloo
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Oh sure, he might look helpless and cuddly
But he's only dreaming of getting studly
with a stuffed koala, in a dirty puddly
yard, while singing a bad Agadoo
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He thinks sitting around all day's all that's required
and even at that, sometimes says that he's tired
with the kids running round, he'd soon have you fired
His only real interest: Bamboo
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So tell your sedentary black and white
his request is only a load of "not right"
he'll have to stay home for the day and sit tight
No Creche for your Panda today

13 comments:

120 Socks said...

Ten out of ten! Poor Panda!

Words A Day said...

Great rhyming! Who knew he was so lecherous, i always wondered where he got the black eye...now I can guess!

Titus said...

A great big yikes! That's why they never breed in zoos then; they just like sex toys.

Is the birth day getting close? I've kind of lost count, which is a bit inept of me.

Niamh B said...

Tks Socks!
Ha! words, and they've such a reputation for just cuddling!!
Titus - David Attenborough will want to get on to the authorities to tell them this latest insight.
And nope birth day is still theoretically at least 12 weeks away - sometime towards the end of May, but I had actually (rather sadly) built up a little store of these, and now they've run out, and I'm not sure I'll have time to get more ready!

Peter Goulding said...

Any little respect I had for this creature has gone out of the window. Honestly, I never knew...

Niamh B said...

it's always the quiet ones Peter!

The Poetry Bus said...

Randy Pandy!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Don't ask me why I was a bus there.

Niamh B said...

No doubt you have your reasons...

The Dead Acorn said...

I now know what "Agadoo" is, and there are some things you just can't unlearn.

And if there's something about your new employment that will potentially keep you from producing further poems of dissuasion, please post your supervisor's contact information so that we may properly communicate the unacceptability of the situation.

Niamh B said...

Dya know what Acorn, after introducing you to Agadoo, I think I qualify as a serious influence in your life - please remember that when accepting your next major award.
As to the work thing, it's very sad, I'm actually sort of enjoying it and wanting to do it, like, well and stuff. So that's a bit weird, as in, I brought stuff home to do this weekend for it, cos I'm so damn keen. That's never happened without a gun at my temple before - maybe it's just the hormones and it'll wear off again when baby arrives... who knows...
I have decided I'll keep doing the animals in shops until April, then I'll have a years worth, then I can move on I think...

davidmohan said...

I love that you rhymed Baloo with bamboo and (even better) Agadoo!

Niamh B said...

Thanks David, it's not as easy as it looks!