Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Sheep to Supervalu

I don't mind telling you, this next one was a tough one to write, sheeps pressure groups all over the country are lobbying strongly... but we've got to be strong. Sheep, they're sneakier than they look.
A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Sheep to Supervalu*

Don’t bring your sheep to Supervalu

And if she tries to boss/ corral you

Stand up to her, this femme fatale ewe

Is bound to turn into a bully


She’d climb on the deli, and go for a graze

There’d be no keeping up with her sure footed ways

She’d run amok in the veggie displays

How can I tell you more fully?


Your even toed ungulate sure won’t keep the peace

She’d wolf into freshly cooked breads, such caprice

Is tough to combat when you’re faced with a fleece

Giving dark looks from eyelashes all woolly


Don’t listen if she tells you she’s only being human

And wants something tasty to fill up her rumen

Forget it, watch her close, or you’ll be left fumin'

No Supervalu for your sheep today

(* for the foreigners - it's pronounced to rhyme with value... this is why it's taken this long to write, so hard to rhyme)


Totalfeckineejit said...

'And if she tries to boss/ corral you

Stand up to her, this femme fatale ewe'

Rhyme of the week award methinks.
Also you is Baa-rking mad.

120 Socks said...

I knew there was a reason why I didn't bring Benson to Supervalu!

Peter Goulding said...

Yes, the rhyming is to die for, daaaaaaahling. Incidentally though, doesn't Supervalu valu ewe?

Titus said...

Ah, as a bit of a sheep expert I have to say that's right on the money. Great sheep knowledge, stunning rhyme.
I wonder, however, why if it's pronounced 'Supervalue' it isn't spelt 'Supervalue'? One missing vowel can't save that much.

LilyS said...

loved it!!

Giving dark looks from eyelashes all woolly - great image lol

The Dead Acorn said...

As someone in an area of the United States known for our fondness of sheep, I can say that you may have saved many relationships with this poem. Standing up to a femme fatale ewem however, is a good way to get lambasted.

Niamh B said...

Surely rhyme of the year TFE?!?
Socks, am sure Benson would behave alright.
Peter - excellent point, though I think you'll find the motto has changed to "Real Food, Real People" not pronounced like the Real in Real Madrid by the way.
Tks muchly Titus, if you add up all the ink you'd save on those e's you'd save alot of e's tho... maybe they wanted George Perec to be able to include it in his novel...
Tks Lily - sheep are deadly, despite the cuteness, and I don't mean that in the Dublin sense of the word deadly as in "good or cool" more baa'd. :-)
Dead Acorn, lambasted! I love it. Glad to be of service and a point of guidance as always.

Short Poems said...

Great thoughtful write, beautiful blog. Love it!