Dear Mr Muscle,
(if that is your real name)
I would like to inform you of a most disappointing result recently achieved in using your product. I started buying "Mr Muscle - All Purpose" 2 months ago and have been faithfully applying a squirt of the lime and vinegar variety to my biceps and triceps daily since then. Despite having persevered through the rashes and pain that co-incided with the initial use (after all - no pain no gain, or so I hear) I have seen no noticeable improvement in the level of muscle in my arm. The overall diameter of my arms seems to have hardly increased at all.
You claim on pack to be "Tough on Grease and Grime". I have not seen "Grime" but in terms of "Grease" I can hardly be said to exhibit even the toughness seen at the Pink Lady's Slumber Party, much less capturing the brute force of Danny or any of the T-Birds.
Please respond asap forthwith or deal with the wrath of a weak and weedy, acidically scented and dissatisfied customer. Pictorial evidence will follow if necessary,
Various Cushions, bodybuilder.