Sunday, September 19, 2010

Poetry Bus - DFTP via Argent, the lurve bus

UP CORK - WOO HOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!! etc... now that the fairweather fandom following the first 20 minutes of GAA watching of the year is over... on with the bus

Today's poetry bus prompt came from Don't feed the Pixies, who has unfortunately left blogworld for the time being, perhaps he'll be back sometime - the quote from them is over here at Argent's place, and Argent has kindly agreed to host the bus this week for the prompt that DFTP left us with as their last bloggy action.

The prompt was to write something appropriate to read at a wedding, non-religious.
I wrote the following - warning: slush factor is very high, so don't proceed unless you have a very strong stomach


Our meeting was an anchor

solid, lasting, plain and true.

We didn’t notice scrambling tide

yet I swam straight out to you

pulled out by an attraction

strong, magnetic, fine and fair

knowing only that I’d met one

almost perfect. One so rare

that life’s questions seemed less daunting

once you held me, close. I waited

for the feeling to get weaker

but I hadn’t calculated

on the way your strange pure self

and I, mixed up and made our pairing

mean more to us each single day,

here’s life, it’s made for sharing


Rachel Fox said...

Not slush - just good, strong, proper love.

Helen said...

Strong stomach ... but didn't need it, of course (romantic that I am) I loved it!!

Argent said...

Nah, not that slushy but very good reading. Liked the sea images very much.

Peter Goulding said...

This task is really bringing out the worst in people.
Or maybe I'm just jealous.

Totalfeckineejit said...

It's a corker!

Titus said...

No no, I'm with Rachel, that is not slushy. I loved the opening two lines and then that repetition of four adjectives again in line 6.

And missing out any "to" in the final line makes it so much stronger.

It was good to read about.

Erratic Thoughts said...

That was a solid punch...(wgich I got from the opening lines!) :)
I liked it, the hell, I loved it!
It's not slushy but just perfect love!:)

Heather said...

Nothing wrong with a bit of slush now and then, and this is beautiful rather than slushy. I love it.

The Dead Acorn said...

Not too slushy at all ... just right for a nice hitch-em-up.

Doctor FTSE said...

Not slushy! Patience Strong has cornered the market in slushy.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Rachel x
and Helen, twas just as well to warn ye all the same!
Thanks argent - just thinking fathom needs to get in there somewhere
Thanks Peter, you're quite right. ;-)
Tks TFE - you and me - GAA Champs!!
Tks Titus - only noticed the adjective repetition now that you've pointed it out, and the "to" never came into the last line.
Thanks Erratic Thoughts, glad you enjoyed
Tks very much Heather, v kind.
Tks Acorn, hitch-em-up - maybe that should have been my title, you really should get on the bus yourself some time.
Tks FTSE - gosh, hadn't heard of her, tks for the introduction...

The Bug said...

Oh this reminds me of MY marriage. So of course I love it :)

On the other hand, my word verification is phalical, which makes me wonder what's really on my mind LOL.

Karen said...

Oh, this is just wonderful! I would read this at my wedding.

Niamh B said...

Aw thanks Bug and Karen