Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your pigeon to Douglas Newman Good

This week's purpose built glory is definitely going to be read aloud. Tonight, upstairs at Douglas Newman Good, in Lucan village. Lucan Writers and some very esteemed guests (including Eamonn Lynskey, Oran Ryan, Alma Braydon, Raven, and others) will be reading there as part of Lucan Festival. So do be there to cheer us on if you can....

DNG is an estate agents for those who don't live in the area.

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your pigeon to Douglas Newman Good


Don’t bring your pigeon to Douglas Newman Good

He wouldn’t behave like a good pigeon should

He’d home in on the staff, say he misunderstood

The request not to act omnipotent


He’d not be fancied, it would not be terrific

To hear him a cooing at auction, horrific

To see him scratch ads from billboards, dolorific,

Oh t’would be quite the trial, quite the torment


No the real estate agent’s no place for a pigeon

He’d nest in the rafters, if you’ve any smidgeon

Of sense you’ll agree this is no tough decision

Stay at home with your grey flying rodent


I couldn’t care less if he has a ring round his ankle

If his wings are powered by an engine called wankel

No matter the trouble, the pain or the rankle

No Douglas Newman Good for your pigeon today


The Dead Acorn said...

But if you were foreign, you’d find it quite funny
As a far-distant agent, trying to bilk you of money
Pushed “mute” on the phone and laughed aloud at you …
your pigeon could treat him as he treats a park statue.

And as a big fan of the wankel engine, I'm happy that it's getting respect in the world of poetry ... perhaps some auto executives are reading this and reconsidering their error.

Peter Goulding said...

If you managed to get your pigeon into DNG, would it would be something of a coo?
I'm willing to join a 'more poems about wankel engines' campaign, though I'd probably leave the interviews to other people.

Niamh B said...

lol - where were you guys when I was writing this? Serioualy, can't believe I had no coo puns or doo doo jokes.
I read the poem anyway, to much amusement and admiration (not to mention befuddlement at the mention of the wankel)

Domestic Oub said...

We, the audience, loved this poem. You actually got applause for it straight after, unlike everyone else who had to wait till all their poems were out before the adulation.

Niamh B said...

Tks Oub, I didn't like to brag, but yes, the poem was just so moving I think people couldn't help themselves. I coulda crowd surfed!

Totalfeckineejit said...

'Stop the pigeon stop the pigoen, nab him, grab him, stop that pogein now!'

Pogein, a cross between Polar Bear and pigeon.Well they say love hurts.

As for the pome, motre brillio! Make a book FFS!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Mybeloved 1979 Mazda Rx-7 had a wankel engine BTW.It did turn out to be a it of a wankel alright.