Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Poet to the Meat Processor

Bet ye thought I'd forgotten... never!



A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Poet to the Meat Processor


Don’t bring your Poet to the Meat Processor

Not unless you want to obsess her

With blood yukky guts yukky gore, oh god bless her

What can I say to convince you


She’d write sonnets on tumblers, would rhyme at the trimmers

There’d be no end of trouble as she’d rip through the inners

And mourn for the animals, write odes for the sinners

Would sharpen noun knives with verb flints, ooh


She’d be so unkind would go endlessly quoting

Animal loving poets to the workers while noting

The scent of the blood and the decorous coatings

If you try to obstruct her she’ll mince you


For it’s a well known fact that all poets are vegans

And this is why too, quite a lot are Galwegian

They’d go ape in a meat plant, so don’t risk a lesion

No Meat Processor for your Poet today





Jessica Maybury said...

hear hear!

The Dead Acorn said...

‘Pon laying her eyes on the shredding machine, a
Sensitive poet might write a sestina
We’d all shun the beef, such shame t’would arouse
Then what would we do with all those damn cows?

"Would sharpen noun knives with verb flints, ooh" ... nice.

Niamh B said...

Yes Jessica - you can verify the galwegien-ness can't you?
Obviously Dead Acorn, we'd keep them as pets. They've got to be better than dogs anyway!!
machine, a sestina... brilliant ;-)

Peter Goulding said...

Wouldn't it be great to actually own a poet to bring to the meat processor? A bit like having your own jester in the yore age.

Domestic Oub said...

I love the vegan/galwegian rhymn :o))

Niamh said...

oH that I was a galwegian
vegan, perhaps my poems
would find publication
(or rhyme)

Since you've veered off animals can I request a poem of dissuassion?

Some verses I could carry on my person to dissuade me from parting with hard earned cash, ie a poem to dissuade emerging writers from entering competitions, you know the type-entry fee 50 quid, the prize, a shopping trolley token...?

Niamh B said...

Peter - poets make great pets, need very little exercise and can be very quiet.
Thanks Oub - deffo one of my finest moments.
Hmmm Niamh - I'll have to think about that one. Anything is possible I guess.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yashabladderwrackerdoobydaby ddodyliciousnessintybintymccflintypootoobimanoobifrewaertsyreterdtyugrtrferdtyuinhgfvdretyuiomhjhytrfnkijuhygtredtttttyhhhhujjikolplm,.;'[-=0998763312 and ting innit dude!

Titus said...

Oops. That's wiped out virtually every poem in "The Fat Plant" then.

Erratic Thoughts said...

Good that m a veggie, coz can't follow rules!
My poet is my poet is my poet :D

Niamh B said...

Quite TFE.
Oh Titus, just as well you've written more since then...
Very glad news Erratic!