Here it is, as pictured after midnight last night, on entering it's fourth decade of service, my right foot.
I mention this merely because, today is my birthday (oh stop, sshhh, I'm not fishing for you to say happy birthday, ok well maybe a little!) and on my ninth birthday I noticed that my feet were bigger than they had been when I was eight. It was the one and only time I noticed a difference in myself on my actual birthday. Eventually I turned out to grow slightly unusually small feet for the size of the rest of me, and I wonder if that was caused by some kind of paranoia caused by noticing them being so big that morning of my ninth anniversary on earth, some kind of mind controlling growth or some such. Creepy eh? Since then I check my feet on every single birthday to see if they're any bigger. Maybe it's a scientific thing - maybe feet do grow especially on the night before your ninth birthday, I don't know. They don't grow much when you turn thirty, that's all I can tell ya... but is there anything else I should watch out for oh learned old people on the world wide web?!?
7 comments:
I think they can grow after having a baby, or something crazy like that. Keep an eye on them..
I thought I had remarkably small feet but then realised It was just because the rest of me was an enormous fat fucker. Very many happy returns! Oh, and it may be an old cliche but for me it's true that the older you get the less you are sure of and your nose keeps growing.
Boobs only grow in proportion to what you fancy - conversely. When you are nineteen and flat as a board they refuse to grow an inch. The more you measure, the less reward you get.
Ears don't grow unless you dangle very heavy metal from the lobes - but the hearing part grows the more paranoid you get until you can listen to people whisper nasty things about you from the far side of the pub.
And don't get me started on facial/leg hair!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY you bizarre cushion person. You're catching up on the rest of us - but very slowly and prettily.
Happy Birthday Niamh - or should I say Bon Anniversare... nous sommes encore en France - Ones 30s, It's all down hill from here - but don't worry, its not all bad news - ones decline equals mucho fodder for excellent writing....
Thanks y'all. I'll report back if there are any further changes.
BM - won't get to check that for a while yet.
TFE - thanks - never thought of the feet that way - cheering me up no end.
Anon - the hearing thing sounds interesting - look forward to that.
DO - Hope you're havin a great hol, lookin fwd to your return.
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