Sunday, November 1, 2009

Promptless, Titleless Poem - help needed

Altho the TFE bus is out of order, I've gotten into the habit of putting up a new poem here every Monday, and good habits are hard to shake. This week it's a poem written in a coffee shop on saturday while waiting for the brake light on my car to be fixed (apparently they're important to have in running order when driving to Letterkenny in October).
Anyway - without further ado -

If the Electric Chair was run by Ryanair,
you'd have to die standing,
having queued for hours -
with jingly music roaring in your ears
and leery hen/stag parties drinking 6am beers
and trumpets if you die on time
before other trumpets sound.
You'd be strapped in tight,
(with no leg room)
- there'd be ads for Sprite
on the inside of your death hood
- harsh cheery announcements dispelling any chance of sleep,
and I fear your last meal wouldn't be that good
and it wouldn't be that cheap.

Any help with naming this one would be appreciated.

11 comments:

Rachel Fox said...

Exit emergency? Or emergency exit?
But that's a quick one. Will get girl to school and then try again.
x
p.s. very good!

NanU said...

That's brilliant!
Long live the Poetry Bus!

I like Rachel's idea of involving the emergency exits, and thus am not completely original in suggesting

Please do not Block the Exit Rows

Totalfeckineejit said...

Come fly with me?
The ballad of Michael O'Leary?

Cool Poem Mrs Niamh.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Heathrow , death row?

Titus said...

Love it!
Would you consider "My Last Two Months"?
Because I have been up and down the country on Ryanair since September and have had to defect, permanently, to EasyJet because of what I couldn't describe: until now.
This is a masterpiece.

Sensibly, "Sparky".

Rachel Fox said...

Come die with me?
With thanks to TFE.
x

swiss said...

i'm with tfe - i'd definitely want to mention o'leary, something like -

the slow electrocution of michael o'leary

Lily Sheehan said...

I cant think of anything but some great suggestions there already. I love the poem!

Niamh B said...

Thanks Rachel - yeah - I like the emergency exits idea too.
Thanks Nanu - we'll keep it goin as long as we can. I like your suggestion too- exit row/ death row
Thanks TFE - Yes Heathrow/ deathrow - but ryanair don't fly there?! I do like the idea of using O'Leary - since I also cleverly used his name in the poem "Leery hen/stag parties" - this was completely on purpose, and not by accident, and anyone who says I didn't even notice it till a clever man in my writing group pointed it out is lying.
Thanks Titus - not sure if it's a masterpiece, but twas fun to write - my sympathies on your past two months.
Thanks Swiss - yes O leary fits big time.
Thanks a million Lily - very kind.

Right - after all that - I'm thinking

O'Leary's Chair, or Life is Cheap

Domestic Oub said...

How about 'Die Ryanair' - an obvious pun on Fly Ryanair, but also a message on how we all feel about them...

Niamh B said...

Oub - I think I'll have to have the 2 names for this Die Ryanair and O'Leary's Chair.
Great suggestion, cheers.