Well... As promised, a full and frank report of my debut bollywood experience. Turns out that the bollywood starlet was so insecure, and worried that she might not be the absolutely best best dancer, that they had to shove me down the back of the crowd, far away with the old men, and the women who were really just out to do a bit of shopping and happened to join in. Yeah,,, actually the old men were mostly better than me too... I mean, I just can't perform on the spot like that, I'm not some kind of robot that can be just switched on, I'm not some performing seal...
So - the truth - I was crap, I was worse than crap, and the really frustrating thing? My crapness seemed to increase the closer the camera got to me, like when it was a mile up the street, which was most of the time, I was brilliant - giving it socks, doing all the moves perfect. When they set up a little steadycam right next to me, with some colourdy flowers for it to peek through, attempting to catch my brilliance as if it was really Moore Street on a Sunny Dublin Sunday, a lá David Attenborough, of course that was the one time, out of the 20 odds times we did the routine, that was the time I patted my stomach and rubbed my head instead of the other way around. Ok - me doing the thing all wrong didn't just happen the once, it probably really happened more like - eh - every time.
It was kinda disheartening the more they took people from the back who could actually do it properly, promoting them up the ranks to better locations. I mean, I tried to rally the guys, saying they were just giving us more space, making sure they could see us all, head to toe, but we all knew the truth, our bit of the street is going straight onto the cutting room floor, straight down there, a waste of celluloid or whatever it is.
Conclusion: I can only dance like no one's watching, when no one is really watching. But no regrets, that's me one step closer to finding out the one thing I am amazingly brilliantly genius at... and it wasn't a bad way to spend a Sunday morning.
3 comments:
I suspect there was yet another camera, well hidden, that only took the cook chicks that were given all the space at the back! Anyway it will do as a rehearsal for taking to the floor on 9th May!
don't leave baby in the corner!
Anon - Unless it was a you've been framed type camera I don't think the footage will ever be used...
BM - Whatever about baby - they were very happy to leave me in the corner!!
Yerrah twas good craic tho - like being at a very repetitive concert with a psycho enthusiastic audience who all happened to be doing the same dance very energetically with scary big grins on everyone's face, not very often you get to experience that, so altho the ego's a little bruised - am still glad I gave it a go.
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