This is where I'd usually boast about all the great things I've been up to hoping to make you all super jealous and cranky, but the good news is this year has been a quiet one on the literary highlights front. I read out poems in public, twice. Joined a new writers group due to the big house move. Attended a writing course gifted to me for my birthday. Started one short story - ie got a first draft done. Finished another. Wrote approx 10 poems including the 4 liners for IPYPIASM. IPYPIASM was a great success thanks to some brilliant participants - biggest and bestest ever. Other than all that, it's been quiet. No publications and very little writing.
I don't even have enough for the usual top 10 listing.
Why? I hear you ask. Well I sort of fell off the writing wagon towards the end of 2010 because of all my physical energy being unavailable to me personally, since it was diverted into making danger cushions. I thought once babs was out, then energy would return and I'd be writing away good oh in the fabled big long holiday known as maternity leave... (don't be angry north american friends, but maternity leave here is really good, I'm only going back to work tomorrow, and danger is over 7 months, and he landed late)... Anyway - still there's been no sign of much writing... I put it down to tiredness, busy-ness with the baby, lack of brain power etc. but I've recently discovered the truth (I think)
Writing was probably my biggest passion in life outside of Mr VC and my job (if my employer is reading), up until June 1st last year. So I've been muddling around here for months wondering where all my motivation went, until duh, it struck me. It has simply been bumped down the passion list, way down.
I still haven't quite got used to the idea of myself being a parent, that'll take years, but if I find myself with a spare few minutes these days - I don't think, poem or short story, I reach for a baby book, or online discussion about babies. It's very dull if you don't have one, but this magical little creature is by far and away the most absorbing hobby I've ever had.
You know that feeling when you invite someone to an event, or to a place they've never been, and then you feel like you should look after them for the evening,, introduce them around, make sure they've found the champagne and doritos? Well for me inviting a new person to live feels like that, but stronger, steel girder v's soggy pasta stronger.
Anyway, so I guess I'm excusing myself for not having more done this year, but I think I'm also saying I don't really care. For now, I'm having more fun trying to hone my mommyness, getting to understand everything about the little fella, and enjoying his babyhood, writing will be back, and it will gradually get a bigger and bigger chunk of me in the not so distant future, but for now there are more important things to do...
12 comments:
Yes there are! (more important things to do) and none more important than your little miracle-baby.
I've never had one, and I can't say as I've felt that maternal pull, but I do understand the passion-drive-slip-down-the-scale route.
It is a good time to give yourself permission to be exactly who and what you want to be. More power to ye!
Kat
P.S. There really ought to be some fantastic AWARD for just being the best mom you can be. I know many moms who would be short-listed!
You might be surprised how much more energy you have for being creative once Danger is about one... but then again, if I had a baba as lovely himself, then I wouldn't be arsed with anything else.
They are "magical little creatures" aren't they? I've got 3 children, all over 18 now.
Looking forward to IPYPIASM 2012. Perhaps it will be England's year...
It's odd that you feel you should apologise for taking a step out of time to attend to the needs and desires of your little one, and not only his but yours. This is such a special time.
Only the other day I talked with my oldest daughter who has a five month old, her second son. She's under pressure to go back and finish her PhD but she wants to savour this time. 'He's only this little once. He really needs me.'
I worked when my babies were little, fortunately not too many hours but enough to keep me abreast of the world and yet my daughter has chosen to do things at a much slower pace and I admire her for it, and you, too.
It's called 'reverie', a special state of mind mother's get into when their babies are small. This wonderful preoccupation with your little one and he needs it more than words can say.
So don't stress about your lack of industry, this reverie is the greatest of industry but it's just a job you tend to enjoy so much you scarcely know you're working. Though I'll bet there are times when it's hard, too. There were hard times for me, but they were far outweighed by the absolute joys of motherhood. Enjoy it.
Not everyone can enjoy the early baby phase for many different reasons so if you can (and you are!) then enjoying it is so important. There's nothing quite like it for child (wanted! loved! appreciated! attention!). So enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and know that it's all doing him (and you) a lot of good. As others say... the writing will come if and when it needs to. Or you might find you're a completely different person and want to do something completely different too.
x
Slacker!!!
Ah no, but really...all i wrote for a year was notes like...
josh ate solids! A whole spoon of Banana!
Josh sat up....BY HIMSELF!
Enjoy this time, its amzing and though it doesnt seem like it - it bloody flies:)
Ah, wait till the next one comes along...
Sounds like you have ur priorities right, and at the very least have worked out which you love doing most right now. The writing will be back, and when it arrives it will be MEGGA - Think of all that life experience and new perspective - right now you are on a research mission!!!
Tks Kat, I think there's a mug you get....!
Oub - fingers and toes crossed!
Fair play to you Dominic, and yes, perhaps with the olympics and all ye'll get more of a team together.
Good for your daughter Elisabeth. I like the thought of it having been a reverie - am back in the world of work now, with longish hours away every day, so that's a bit weird for us both (me and him), but like I said - I really can't complain - had 7 lovely months of nothing but time with his gorgeous self, and yes it is hard work, in the unendingness of it, but you're so right about the enjoyableness of it too.
Tks Rachel - yes I know it can be a tough time too, and don't get me wrong - it's not all roses and buttercups, but it's pretty good, and very absorbing! And yeah - fascinating how desires shift with a change in perspective - we'll see - writing has been a constant thing - sometimes further in the background than others... so I can't see it quite dropping off the horizon altogether.
Niamh - Ha!! It's so true. I once almost launched into a fascinating story about nappy developments with a friend who doesn't have a baby, and only just in time realised it wasn't the most scintillating of conversations to be starting.
Peter - honestly, can't imagine.
Thanks Louise I do like the idea of it as research too... hmmm. though I haven't really been taking half enough notes - hopefully it's just simmering away there.
Brilliant delighted for you!
Tks Eej!
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