Readers familiar with my poems to dissuade series will know that lack of a need for a certain public service will not put me off attempting to provide it - so here, in the interests of public health and well-being, is a list of what I deem to be inappropriate uses for nutella or choconussa as you might know it, depending on where you shop. I haven't tested out all of these ideas, so can only promise that on mature reflection, these uses seem to be the least likely to bring you success.
1. Buttering the non chocolate side of the jaffa cake - this idea is what got me thinking about the rest of the uses I deem inappropriate.... sounds delicious but wrong.
2. Nor should you eat all the chocolate off the outside of a mars bar and insert nutella between the nougat and caramel layers.
3. Do not use as toothpaste.
4. It will not work well as nappy cream.
5. Nor does it function as window cleaner.
6. It's abilities as a cavity insulator are limited.
7. It is not recommended in the field of shining shoes.
8. At best it is very poor as a nasal decongestant.
9. Do not try it as an NCT disc adhesive.
10. When tiling - grout is probably a better option for sticking the tiles to the wall.
Glueing Ferrero Rocher's together in a pyramid is only to be advised if you are extremely skilled and artistic and want to impress all your friends.
Anyway - contrary to all evidence to the contrary, I am not online at the moment, the lead is still en route... I watch ye from a far dear friends... (whatever you do, don't try it as hair gel)