Wednesday, October 12, 2011

For the art of repetition

The weekend found meself, baby cushions and Mr VC all ensconced half way up sliabh na muc (the mountain of pigs) looking out over the Glen of Aherlow in the company of 5 writers from the wonderful Dubland writer's group for the annual writing weekend, also known as the annual "excuse to eat 10 thousand jelly sweets and watch X factor" weekend.
As is traditional on such weekends - we sometimes, late on in the evening, get around to a 2 lines each game where we each write two lines of a poem and pass it on... here's the result of mine - which was one of the favourites this year - last years favourite can still be heard here.

And now - this years effort - and don't try to say the fourth line after half a box of butler's chocolates...

Moonlight spilled through chocolate trees
The summer night a blush of heat
A shimmer, glimmer, cresent kiss
Lost loves kiss, last lost chance
A cloud, a broken strand of moon
brought chill through naked trees
And then she danced wild and free
The night, her audience. She waits
for someone hid between the trees
whose eyes shimmered in the moonlight
A flash of shadow, tall, and then,
for the art of repetition, let's mention trees again


I'm still waiting for the darned lead btw, so apologies that I'm slower than usual at responding to your comments, they're still much appreciated.

7 comments:

120 Socks said...

A classic for sure:)

The Bug said...

This is lovely! And I couldn't even read the 4th line in my HEAD, much less out loud :)

Domestic Oub said...

The forth line might well have been much better if some poet in particular, named after soft furnishings, hadn't been flying through her poems and hassling and pressuring and stressing out the poet to her left...

martine said...

that is a tongue twister for sure:-)
thanks for sharing
martine

Titus said...

Who wrote that last line!
Next Laureate for sure.

Mind, the fourth is good too.

And ugghh to the Nutella below. I've never got that stuff.

Domestic Oub said...

The forth line is genius. Quite brilliant I'd say.

Niamh B said...

tis socks, deffo
thanks Bug, yep, deffo a tongue twister!
Oub - pressure's for tires! and yes it was inspired :-)
Martine - glad you enjoyed
Titus - the last line is pure genius - sadly neither that or the fourth can be claimed as my own. And people who don't like nutella are mainly just those who haven't given it a fair chance in my experience.