Saturday, November 26, 2011

They said it couldn't be done

I was musing this morning on the fact that I am the type of person who gets most motivated when told that I probably can't do something. In college a good friend, who shall remain nameless, once broke off our studying relationship because I was too much of a messer and she wanted to do well in the exams, thus giving me all the boost I needed to actually finally knuckle down and not do too badly in the end.
Likewise, almost six months ago I was visited by a public health nurse who seemed kind of bemused when I told her that babs was eating at least 20 times per day (I counted, so I knew). And she left me a chart explaining how to make up formula because as she said "Most women change over after awhile, so you'll probably give up." Anyway - maybe she was just a genius reverse psychologist in disguise but whatever happened, we're still going strong (and the more people ask about when I return to work, the more I'm hoping to keep going beyond that too).
I just need someone now to tell me that I'll probably never write again and that it's not worth even putting in the 5 minutes here and there that I'm only half managing to do at the moment, since I've most likely got zero ability for writing anything half worth reading, anything I got published in the past was pure fluke, and there's nothing left in me, so I should just give up now. So please, discourage me.... it's the strongest motivator I know.


Rachel Fox said...

Well done on the feeding.

Dominic Rivron said...

I'm in the same boat with the 5 minutes here and there thing at the moment. I think one just has to hang in there.

120 Socks said...

Okay - if you say you can't do it, you probably won't - if you say you might do it, well you might not - but if you say, I am goddam going to do it - then you goddam will. Ignore all those negative feelings - they will only make you negative, and that's not the outcome you're aiming for! Anyone who can feed baba 20 times a day, is made of strong stuff - keep going girl:)

Niamh B said...

Thanks Rachel
Dominic, It feels like I never wrote at all at this stage.
Thanks a mill Socks, It's not really that I've been feeling negative, just that if someone was negative towards me about writing - I might be more determined to succeed - tis just a theory, but thanks! :-)

Helena said...

Hi Niamh, of course you will write again. And you are also doing the very best by your baby. Can't believe the nurse was so negative. In my own experience of 2 kids, up to 8 months is very do-able, including while back at work. So well done and hang in there. And don't worry about the writing, your talent won't desert you and the best is yet to come. Good Luck with it all and enjoy.

Titus said...

I was going to try, but there's no sincerity in anything negative I had to say about your writing.

Just don't organise Poems in Shops though. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Helena, yeah - just think she was a bit unsure about it (she was only 55 or so, so had probably only got 25 years midwifery under her belt, so you can't expect too much), but definitely didn't instill much confidence! Cheers too re the writing... it's just mad, how the writing muscle wastes when it's not used - how bloody unfit you feel when you try and sit down to use it!
And thanks Titus. yes EW and Acorn have already been planting seeds, and as last years champ poem planter I'd have expected nothing less. Expect PIS (poems in Shops) and soon!!!

The Bug said...

There is NO WAY you can write with a baby in the house. It just can't be done. Sorry. See you in 18 years.

Niamh B said...

Tks Bug - that's just the type of thing I was looking for.